They're loving it!

Woke up today excited to be taking the dogs out. If they could read my mind, they would've heard me saying "Guys, we're going on a road trip today woo hoo and we'll be picking up your good friend Chopper on the way! You're gonna love it!!"

Funny thing is, moment I got to my friend's house and the Doberman saw us, his usual killer instincts went out the window. He started wagging his tail coz he recognised us. Chopper usually scares the living daylights out of people with his bark but the pugs are his friends so we get to see the other side of him. Phew coz I wouldn't wanna cross him. 

He's an incredibly well-trained dog who would do anything to protect his owner from harm. He's been trained for protection. He's basically a 24/7 bodyguard (well, almost, that's until he sees my pugs he's off duty!) 

My pugs are his smallest friends and incredibly, they all get along. Even drink from the same bowl when they're out tog. Quite a strange foursome but they click :)

Well, I'm not sure where I got the idea that all dogs swim coz the doberman was freaked when he went into the sea and was kicking up water faster than a wheel to stay afloat. Ok, calm down Chopper...shhh, it's ok. Moment he settled down, we took him back into the sea so he'd get used to it. He got better at it, no doubt but sorry to brag (bit of owner's pride here) but my lil Pickle was like a ballerina compared to the Doberman and my other 2 pugs combined! 

Harley and Ruby came out looking like drowned rats. They were paddling vertically in a panic. It was hilarious! 

Only Pickle glided around gracefully as though she'd been swimming all her life. We tried to teach them how to swim without being in a frenzy. They were like small kids. They got scared when you took your supporting hand away.

They were running up and down the beach. You could tell they were really excited. They were fascinated by everything. 

What a great day spent with my four legged kids. The dogs are loving being out here in Port Dickson. Nothing like quality time with the fellas outdoors. They're "LIVING THE MOMENT" I'm having fun just watching them! :)

Beautiful guys

Well, I had an awesome massage on my last night in Bangkok. They used heated herbal balls on my aching shouders, lower back...hmmm, was def transported into another world. Was so incredibly relaxed that it was hard to get off the bed when it was over. I had to smile when the therapist said to me "sir, ok now we are finid" ;)

I saw some "beautiful guys" on the way back in their glitzy dresses. When I used to model here, so many of the transvestitite make up artists had beautiful breasts and immaculate false eye lashes and were really good with make-up. Impressive considering they're all men to begin with.


I've forgotten how many he-she's there are in this country. There was a really attractive one at the airport, very slim, dressed like a corporate executive and much nicer to male tourists than me at the internet lounge haha ;)

Can you imagine, I read somewhere that there's a school in Chiang Mai which has 3 toilets! For Boys, Girls and ? Wonder what it says on the third door? Can you believe there's even a beauty pageant in Thailand for transexuals called Miss Tiffany Universe, i think. One of their contestants was saying "most people can't tell because I'm very petite, but when I talk, they know" Bizarre isn't it?

Oh, really funny. At breakfast today, the waitress asked me "you wan toes bucket?" and I said "sorry?" trying to keep a straight face when I realised she was trying to ask me if I wanted to "toast my baguette" I love how they say things. So cute and I speak a fair bit of Thai so when I don't know how to say something, I just say the English words in a Thai way and I'm usually understood. Like I was asking the hotel if there was a safe in my room for my "pass-a-port" and when you wanna ask what time something closes, they'll get you right away if you said "you clowe wat time?" coz they don't really say the "s" :)

My first time wearing a tudung!

I was shooting beautifulnara.com at his home for Project Alpha sponsored by Adidas Action 3 (the deodorant, not the clothes! ;) which is a show about Malaysia's top bloggers and believe you me, he really is one of the TOP bloggers in the country if you want the low down on celebrity gossip in Malaysia. Oh, by the way, it's the guy on the right hehe. Everyone assumes it's a girl.


I got greeted by his nephew at the door. Soo cute! He must've wondered who all these strangers were. Including the crew and make up artists, there were more than 10 of us!


I found out that beautifulnara's traffic is astronomical! He can garner more visitors in a day on his site than some magazines over an entire month! (depending on the blog post, he can sometimes hit 100,000 unique visitors in a day!) Just insane! Now, one of the very few bloggers who can rival beautifulnara.com is this guy down here, budiey.com


They are MAJOR rivals so we decided to film them pitted against each other in a CHALLENGE at Sunway Lagoon's Extreme Park hahaha. What an INTERESTING day shall we say? I had to actually separate them when they first got on to camera. quite a bit of drama ;)

It was a healthy competition and I can't tell you the result of the budiey.com versus beautifulnara.com challenge (we'll have to just catch the drama when it's out ;)


I absolutely can't wait for the first episode of Project Alpha!! (We are still editing the show right now coz we just finished filming all 49 episodes) Project Alpha will start airing on Sept 18th on HITZ.fm and nuffnang.com.my

There's a first time for everything. Now, I have worn a baju kurung before but not a tudung! And when I was interviewing beautifulnara at his house, I also interviewed his whole family and...


As it turns out, beautifulnara.com's sister, Nafizah is ALSO a blogger and she gives women tips on how to style yourself with the tudung coz there are several ways to do it. She took me to her favourite shop, Rimba in Sunway Pyramid in this beautiful arabic inspired section called Marrakesh to get myself dressed up!


I felt transported into a different culture. The outfit automatically made me feel very feminine, lady-like and proper. I tried to stay still while she was fastening the head dress so it wouldn't slip.


I was going to remove my hair band but she said to leave it. Makes it easier so that all the hair is out of your face.


Almost there and then we were told there was a snake charmer dancing in the Sunway Marrakesh corridor (what????) It was drawing quite a crowd so we went n checked it out.

She was one sexy dancer. I would be too distracted dancing with a live snake wrapped round me!


Wow, she even sleeps with her snake, she was telling us! How scary!


Project Alpha which is about uncovering Malaysia's top bloggers was really quite an adventure to film coz we shot everything on location from their homes to Sunway Resort Hotel where Nicolekiss was staying coz the girl literally lives out of her suitcase. She's always on the go...


She even writes for The Star. I asked her why the name Nicolekiss? It's not that sort of kiss by the way. It comes from Hershey kisses, yup, she's a lover of chocolate! Don't know how she stays so slim! :)

She has these amazing videos from all over the world. She's been to so many countries and gets paid as a blogger to write about her travels. What a cool job!


I really liked her room too. It was an Arabic suite at Sunway Resort Hotel. I asked her if she always travels like this "in style" and she said "I wish!" lol. She's gone backpacking, the works and has been on all modes of transport! Anything goes with this chic. We had a lot of fun on this shoot! ;)

It's a WRAP!!! Yay!

I woke up today after 7 straight days of filming with a panic attack. It was after 10am. It took a while for it to sink in that I didn't have to be anywhere, look good or rush to set. I'm done filming my latest project, called PROJECT ALPHA, a show about Malaysia's top bloggers.

My schedule has been so intense. I've been filming for 12 to 17 hours a day but tiring as it is, I've really enjoyed interviewing these bloggers. They're all so different and we've been shooting on location from their homes, bedrooms to hotels, gyms, you name it. I can't wait to see the finished product.



Though we're done filming, the next phase of production is about to begin. "Post production" is gonna take HOURS and hours everyday but looking at the footage of all the bloggers ought to be fun, including all the bloopers hehe but I hate watching myself in editing. Makes me wince. Too close for comfort so I have opted to not be heavily involved in the editing process. I'll leave that to the director! Cool!

It feels sooo good not needing to be anywhere or do anything today, yay! I'm having a glorious foot massage right now :) Feels truly wonderful to kick back and relax after this manic filming period which was very short (only 8 days)but insanely intense.

I can't rest for too long but whatever stolen moments one gets becomes golden when you're caught up in such a hectic schedule.

Winding down the pace now and sinking back into my massage chair zzz

Why I love the erhu...

It is said the erhu originated as far back as a thousand years ago and the chinese character of "er" which means 2, may come from the fact that it has only 2 strings. The unusual thing about the erhu is that the bow is in between the 2 strings rather than played on top of them like a Western violin.


There is also no definitive point where you must place the fingers to get certain notes because the fingers are pressing on a string in thin air (rather than on wood or frets) and both strings are together not separate so needless to say it's a highly challenging instrument. I fell in love with the sound of the erhu once I heard it. Almost like a human voice singing (once you get past sounding like a strangled chicken in the beginning ;) It's really soulful which is why this instrument is considered spiritual (it has been used for sound healing). It has such a unique oriental sound. I was listening to Buddha Bar in my house the other night and I suddenly heard a few haunting notes from an erhu fused with other modern instruments and I was telling my pugs "did you hear that?" but they kept on snoring. It's not something unusual for them to hear at home ;)

This is my ever growing notebook of songs beginning with Ba Ba Black Sheep which was painful enough to learn but worth every effort lol. I find playing the instrument so therapeutic and it forces you to be in the "now" coz it takes focus and patience. It makes me sit still, quiet (ok, I know that's rare ;) and meditative.

The songs look like strange numeric codes but these are actually my notes with 1 being do, re is 2 and so on but the difficult part is when you move into another chord, the rules change and everything is different aaargh! And you need to remember what SET you're playing with.


Believe it or not, these are the notes to "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack go under limbo stick" haha you know the one? So, you see erhus can do fun and chirpy songs too, not just melancholic ones that make you cry coz they're so sad n yet beautiful. Limbo stick is a really cute one. The erhu can play anything a violin can but I find the oriental songs do it more justice.

Sometimes, while I wait for my lesson, I make a total nuisance of myself and start playing all the other ones in the school. The one below is a Yangqin which is played with 2 bamboo sticks. No idea how it works but I was banging away, quite fun!

I'm glad I decided NOT to learn the guzhen. Don't get me wrong, this plucking instrument is beautiful but you can't exactly swing it over your shoulder and carry it around with you. Oh, guess what happened on my previous Singapore trip?

I made friends with the erhu player in the underpass under Lucky Plaza in Singapore. He let me play his erhu for a few minutes (which drew a few stares). My friend stood there shaking his head saying, "yup, it's a recession, she used to be a model n everything but times are hard u know"...oh shut it Calvin, will ya?

Perhaps I will busk with him next time round for the fun of it and let him keep the proceeds ;) He's way too good for me right now (I may actually ruin his income in the underpass by turning people away haha) You know he refused to let me tip him? Ridiculous! and I was the one taking up time on HIS erhu. Such a sweet man and so patient with me considering I'm just a beginner. 

This is a pipa. Of course I have no idea what I'm doing but I produced a few interesting sounds!

This is my teacher. In a particularly tough lesson, I sometimes get stuck with my fingers not knowing where to go next and he says "relax la" but aaargh. Easier said than done. He's very strict with me and I need him to be so I don't pick up bad habits. U know how in chinese brush painting, the brush is held between the fingers in a very specific way? The erhu is something like that. Everything must be precise. Sometimes, he grabs the bow and just starts pulling it back and forth so I can FEEL the right angle coz when you're just a bit off, you could sound terrible!

But when you get it right, it's music to your ears. It's like you've hit the sweet spot, ahhh, that's the note! Have to search for it but there's no mistaking it when you get it! It's such a great feeling to hear a song forming on this ancient instrument. Patience is what it's teaching me and living in the present moment. I LOVE playing it. I'm sure my neighbours don't haha. Well, not yet anyway. Just you guys wait till I get better on this, don't mess! :)

Back on set

Welcome back to rude wake up calls and that persistent alarm clock! Aaargh and MUST look presentable when you're actually still half asleep! This is when you really appreciate or rather require the wonders of make up! ;)

Had to be up at 645am today. I forced myself to be in bed by 11pm last night. Such a record for me to sleep before midnight but I had to or I'll not make it through the day.

I've just started filming PROJECT ALPHA. It's about Malaysia's Top Bloggers (the real deal, where they live, who they are, how they tick)and I'll be hosting all 49 episodes, yup, you read that right (I'm gonna be flat out!) but each ep is fast paced, short n sweet (less than 5 mins) It won't be out till mid Sept.

It's a REALLY diverse bunch of bloggers we're featuring from a girl who lives out of her suitcase, I mean seriously, she's always in some country or rather, how cool right? (I want her job!) to a top Malay entertainment blogger (if you wanna know the latest gossip), to a daredevil, 2 shopaholics and fashionistas. This is gonna be fun and some of us are doing CRAZY things on this shoot.

I've always liked this boom (above shot) It looks like a furry Persian cat but it's an excellent wind breaker when ur shooting outdoors.

Ok, gotta get back to it. More later...

When I was 5....

I had a green stick fracture from roller skating down a steep hill. My brakes weren't working so I used the back of a car to stop myself but I was going too fast. The shock of it went up my arm and I couldn't really move it. I was in kindergarten at the time. My parents said I should've been a boy with all the trouble I got myself into. They were really concerned but I couldn't write for a whole month in kindergarten yay!! so no homework!

I even had a mini skateboard which I managed to jump down a couple of stairs with, yup, so don't be fooled by the skirt I'm wearing. Was such a tomboy. Even played football with the boys in the neighbourhood but aside from my speed which was beneficial to my team, they didn't want me to play with them coz "I was a girl" *eyes rolling* ;)

I don't know if it's just me but when I was a kid, everything seemed larger. For eg, I went back to my primary school as a teenager and I was really surprised. I stood at the edge of the school field which had so many memories for me from playing catching with my friends to competing in Sports Day. I remembered our field being HUGE but it wasn't at all! ;)

Age is another funny thing. If you were 10 and someone was 14, BIG difference. If you were 14 and someone was 20, even BIGGER difference coz you're the kid and the 20 year old is already grown up to you. Once you're in your twenties, the difference between 22 or 26 isn't a big deal, same when you're in your thirties or forties. Age becomes just a number.

If FEAR had a name...

Where there was light,

There was also darkness

hiding in the shadows

on every street corner

behind bedroom doors

tucked into the back of your mind

like Chinese whispers

some call it a conscience

a voice in your head

some see the darkness, some don’t

some don’t want to acknowledge it

it takes so many forms

but we all encounter it

F E A R

is like a living breathing thing

Let’s give it a name

S n a k e

Because it can creep up on you at any given moment

It’s not something you look for but when it finds you

and sinks its fangs into you,

it could poison your mind,

trap you in its embrace

making sure you don’t break free

S n a k e

shows up when you are afraid of change

holding you back from going forward

S n a k e

Is around when a relationship is dying

But doesn’t give you the guts to end it

S n a k e

Shows up when you’ve broken up with someone

Without giving you the courage to let go

And move on

S n a k e

Makes everything seem worse than it actually is

It looks at life like a glass half empty rather than half full

S n a k e

has two faces so what you see is NOT what you get

S n a k e

Sometimes wears high heel shoes and walks right next to you

Looking like a sexy supermodel

She follows you to work, gets into your lap top,

The roll of documents your printing

She is in the corner of every elevator you’re in

Sometimes checking her perfectly manicured nails

She is striking, you are plain

She is interesting but you are so boring that you wonder

how you managed to get anyone to marry you

S n a k e

sits beside you in the passenger seat growing more bold and even more beautiful by the moment

When your front door opens, you miss the smile on your husband’s face

You were too distracted by her standing right behind him

You are annoyed with your husband for no reason

You have no proof but you don’t need any

Because you keep seeing S n a k e everywhere

Even if she’s only in your mind

Do you know what F E A R stands for?

A famous psychologist once told me

it’s “false evidence appears real”

S n a k e

grows bolder with her outrageous outfits as you fade away

Becoming a shadow of your former self

Sometimes S n a k e

Is in every school telling you why you will not make it

It’s the bully who beat you up and rubbed your face into the dirt

making sure you never fight back

Sometimes S n a k e

Is in every home, every mother and father

Pushing their kids to do better

Making them feel they’re not good enough, not smart enough

S n a k e

Is in all of us

But where there is darkness, there is also light

So open the windows

of your mind

See the possibilities

Your limitless potential

Feel positively charged

Even in your darkest hour, the sun never disappears

It‘s always there even if you don’t see it

Light is everywhere dark hangs out

Waiting for you to fix the light bulb

A simple twist is all it takes

Looking at something different

Can transform a dark room into a bright and cheery one

So what are you waiting for?

Turn on the light switch!