Jojo Struys Official Blog

2010-05-07T18:11:00.003+08:00

I am not blogging from here anymore. Pls visit my website http://www.jojostruys.com/ for all my latest updates. Thanks

Frightening stats!

2010-04-15T12:26:00.000+08:00

I was at the PT Foundation yesterday because I'm gathering research for a story I'm working on at the moment.

I will definitely share the full version of this story with you once I've completed it but I wanted to at least mention this.

Yesterday, I interviewed someone who was living with HIV. He looked perfectly normal by the way, which goes to show you can't assume you're alright just because you look it.

It was an eye opener how he valued life so much more now than before he found out he was HIV positive. He didn't take life for granted. Every day was precious because it meant he was alive. It reminded me of the saying "live every day like it's your last" but how many of us are doing it?

We get so caught up with minor matters when in the big picture, we ought to be grateful we're alive and well!
Jojo Struys
Live The Moment
W:www.kyanite.tv W:www.jojostruys.com

Launching Project Alpha Season 2

2010-04-09T03:23:00.015+08:00

When I watched the Project Alpha Season 2 trailer on the big screen at Curve Cineplex, I was on the edge of my seat. It's not because I couldn't wait to see it. I've seen it a million times in the edit suite combing over fine details with the director down to font size, audio levels, logos timed to sound effects (then choosing which ones went best with the words). You get the gist. It's amazing how long it took to just put these few minutes together!

So needless to say I was on the edge of my seat because I was hoping it would go smoothly. All those endless hours and hours including graveyard shifts with our editors at kyanite.tv has finally gone public. Yikes!!! I'm used to sitting with 2 or 3 other people watching the trailer, not an entire cinema hall viewing it on the big screen. Wow! I know Shaolintiger thought it was kinda bizarre watching himself on the silver screen. Everyone's face was larger than life! KY was asking me before the trailer whether the HD cameras picked up on his zits haha. I don't know what part of the trailer you'll like the most. Some like the football section, some like the travel aspect, some like Cheesie screaming her head off ;)

At the bloggers launch at night, Ninie was practically standing on her head again. I wonder if she does yoga in her sleep! I honestly wouldn't be surprised ;) Klubbkidd showed up with his new purple hair do but in the trailer it's shocking red. Dude, how often do you dye your hair!

I have to say that a lot of people in the audience burst out laughing when Azwan Ali exploded on to the screen! He totally cracks me up. Amazing camera presence. Niki Cheong told me via twitter to "make sure he looks good" which wasn't hard :) You'll have to wait and see for yourself Niki. The London eps look awesome!

We have SO much more to go but this sneak preview is the very first official trailer of Season 2. We wanted you guys to have a taste of what Project Alpha Season 2 was all about but we didn't wanna give too much away. If there was a mantra we tried to stick to, it would be "Less is more" so if you have a few mins to spare, pretty please check the trailer out and tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it! It took so much work to get to this point and we are still flat out in editing the rest of the eps. It's 430am right now and you guessed it! I'm editing right now! :)

Project Alpha airs 19th April and is brought to you by Adidas Action 3. Our official broadband provider is P1 Wimax and the official Airline is MAS. For more info on the show, you could hop on to www.projectalpha.com.my :)

As you get older...

2010-03-27T12:03:00.004+08:00

When you're a teenager, you wanna be older so that you can be legal, drive a car, be more of an adult. I remember trying to negotiate a curfew with my Mum when I was about 21. I said "1am is just TOO EARLY Mum! Sometimes, people start going out to party as late as 11pm you know!"

Nowadays, I hardly go out unless work brings me to a launch because I'm all partied out and I'm quite happy to unwind at home in the evenings, walk my dogs round the lake or catch a movie. We go through different phases and growing up changes your ideas about what you think is fun. What's important to you may also change in time from the toys you used to love, to the lessons you used to take to the sports you used to play. Even partners change over the years as you change.

Another thing that's different is I find myself thanking people who think I'm much younger than I really am. That's when you know ur getting old! Haha. Just yesterday while I was shooting a magazine spread, the make up artist was putting on the fake lashes for me asked if I was 22? (dunno if you guys know I'm over 30 shhh! ;)

Seriously though, there are advantages about getting older. You simply gather so much more experience along the way doing whatever you do.

I have a friend who's born in the year of the Tiger. He was standing in front of a Tiger statue or decoration 12 years ago thinking to himself "The next time I see this tiger, I'll be 36! I'll probably be married by then. Might even have kids, Wow"

The crazy thing is he just saw it again this year and he remembered what he was thinking the last time he saw the Tiger symbol and it depressed him. OMG, he was 36 already? Not that it's an issue but he's still single and wondering how a dozen years could have just gone by so quickly. As time goes by, we wonder if we're on the right track. We reflect about whether we're happy. We feel the passage of time, subtly but surely.

Age is something we can't change. It's like death. It's a certainty, a fact of life so it's important to "live the moment" because it's so precious. Get out there and do whatever makes you happy! Especially before you see your own chinese zodiac come by again! :)

Scams. Been there, done that!

2010-03-19T20:30:00.008+08:00

On my first modeling trip to KL, I remember the door bell ringing and seeing these really sweet, innocent looking girls standing on my doorstep. They said they were doing some scratch and win contest and were so enthusiastic about it, I found myself being lulled along. They told me to simply choose an envelope and scratch off the silver so I figured why not? Turns out, I won something for my kitchen, on the spot and one of the girls went downstairs to get it. Everything seemed in order. It was in a box, all brand new. I was really surprised. Looking back, this is such a good strategy because everyone is in a good mood and it seemed so easy. What made it doubly harder for me to mistrust them is that they seemed like really nice girls.They were probably students working for this company part time because they looked no more than 20. They let me in to a little secret (which made me think they're on my side). They said almost all the prizes were already won because they were already at the end of their contest period but no one had won the grand prize yet which was a car. They had a photo of their prizes in a professional looking folder, the works. Turns out, they had only 2 envelopes left and one of them had the car as a prize in it. The chances of winning were 50/50 but it was a CAR, not a frying pan, know what I mean?

They said to be eligible for the contest, one had to spend a minumum of RM1, 200 or something like that to enter it. They had a folder of tonnes of household and electrical items to choose from. I had just moved to Malaysia (this was ages ago) and I didn't even have a microwave oven so I decided to buy one for the house and a simple water filter. After that, I scratched the metal boxes but this time, I won nothing. I later found out they tell everyone the same thing so the last 2 envelopes were probably identical so that no one would ever win. The only saving grace was the microwave oven did come in handy but was probably sold to me at an inflated price since it was a brand I've never heard of.

What made me think of this, is just today, I got a call from what I thought was Air Asia saying I had won a holiday for 4 pax and to please come and collect it. The only catch being that they wanted to have 20 mins of your time showing you how to use the website for bookings and to educate consumers on what panel of hotels they are associated with in different countries. Seemed fair enough for a free holiday but I thought it might be a scam so I decided not to go. Last moment, I had an hour to spare so I went down there with my business partner who was convinced it was all bullsh*t. We decided to go anyway. Curiosity killed the cat, sort of thing. We figured it might be a time share scam.

Gosh, it was nothing we expected. It was a company that's selling skincare and supplements huh? So then we thought it must be multi level but it wasn't. Not really. It was a company building their own pharmacy chain (so they claim) but they hadn't built the first outlet yet. They wanted people to invest in it so that everyone would have a share of all items sold to their members. It was laced with a million loopholes but they were trying to build their member base, get you to recruit others for them etc etc. They were selling hope to people who may have been swayed by the attractive renumeration of what you would get back but that's all air talk. Eg, if someone bought RM150 worth of make up in their store (they didn't even specify a make up brand can u believe it?) the investor would get back RM50 and they estimate at least 100 people through the door per day BUT they may as well be selling air because the thing wasn't even built (though they spoke of a nation wide chain to come).

Plus, it wasn't even Air Asia (there were no flights) but the prize was a 2 night stay in either Bali or Thailand from aaasia (so on the phone it sounded like the airline). My business partner told these people that what they were doing wasn't right because they were soliciting calls to get people to come and see them pretending to be something else on a totally different premise. He said point blank to the lady trying to sell her scheme to us, who in their right mind would go for such a sham? We were already going to leave but they produced the free holiday voucher as promised for a 2 night stay in Thailand at a hotel but we decided not to take it because I didn't want to write any of my details down. I didn't want to feed their rotten database. If everything had a catch, who's to say the holiday wouldn't have one as well.

I was not upset though. We expected the worst so we weren't disappointed. We went with our eyes wide open so we were prepared. My first story though caught me by surprise because of the faces of those smiling girls in the doorway who looked like they were on a school assignment. They deceived me when I thought they were just innocent students. It was a tactic and it worked because my guard came down because they lied so smoothly about their contest. With all things though, I try to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. I got a microwave oven out of it and experience I cannot buy. Sometimes, it takes a scam to know a scam so if you're burnt once, just move on but don't get burnt again la! ;)

Any regrets?

2010-03-12T21:40:00.005+08:00

I think regrets are one of the WORST feelings to be weighed down by. The very word implies a past event that has already happened but you are STILL thinking about it yet unable to change a thing about it coz we can never change the past. Since there's NOTHING you can do about it, what's the point of harboring regrets? We can only decide whether we wanna repeat our actions.

So if you're regretting something you said or did, it's best not to dwell on it. Living in the past can be a dark place to hang out if you're filled with regret. It's more important to learn the lesson so to speak and just move on. If you've made a mistake, don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes! Even what seemed like a HUGE problem in the past from bad grades or being caught by your parents for being super naughty, seems to be things we might even laugh at today.

Time has a funny way of healing wounds and it moves so swiftly. Every second ticking by signifies the passage of time and what amazes and almost scares me is how it will never be the exact same time again when you glance at your watch. Moment to moment, the present keeps changing. It's easier said than done following my own blog mantra "live the moment" but when you think about it, that's all we have right here, right now. It's always THIS moment! so don't look back or too far forward. The moment is right under your nose! :)

Do you drink too much?

2010-03-05T19:34:00.002+08:00

I have a freind who's drinking was out of control and he kept saying he was going to cut down but once he was out with the guys, it was game over. He couldn't stop at a safe amount. It was as though the first drink triggered the craving for more, and then more. It was hurting his health, his relationships, his bank account and his ability to focus. He really didn't feel good about himself. Especially the next day. All those calls to ask if he embarassed himself and how he managed to get home? His friends were getting tired of making excuses for him when he was over the limit. His girlfriend felt more like a mother to him and she was at the end of her rope in the relationship. When he was sober, he knew with crystal clarity what he had to do but it seemed too difficult to face his fears head on. Drinking was the easy way out. It was an escape from the shit he didn't wanna deal with dating back to his childhood resentment of his father but how long and how far can you run from dealing with the skeletons in your closet?

As usual, you can never change anyone, only yourself. For eg, you can never quit smoking for anyone. It's the same with drinking. An alcoholic must WANT to make the change for themselves. The people around the alcoholic seem to suffer the most watching them throw their lives away. Actually, there was a really good movie about this starring Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. She played the alcoholic. I watched this ages ago. It was an unusual role for Meg Ryan to take on (not her usual American sweetheart stereotype) She was quite an emotional mess in this movie and you feel for her character, especially the husband and kids. Actually, if you have an addictive personality, Leaving Las Vegas is another good one to catch with Nicholas Cage about a suicidal alcoholic. Bear in mind, a movie can trigger off awareness but with no guarantees that someone REALLY wants to change. It takes courage to quit any addiction.

Significance of colours

2010-02-27T23:09:00.015+08:00

I've always wondered why people say "green with envy" why this colour? When I think of green, I think of plants, not jealousy ;)

Colours are interesting because they reflect different moods and they convey a variety of messages, some subliminal, some blatant in countless situations. Companies use certain brand colours to stand out from their competitors.

On an F1 track where the cars are whizzing by furiously, colour plays an important role for the sponsors as well as the spectators. The same applies on a football field...everyone's looking out for the colours of the teams they're supporting.

Identities of countries can be spotted from the colours of their flags.

Red is associated with danger, anger, love and passion in the West but in China it's good luck and prosperity (brides wear red) and in India it represents purity. Religions are also associated with colours.

For instance, Islam is traditionally associated with green, Judaism with yellow but in Hinduism, many of the Gods are blue in colour. Lord Vishnu's divine powers manifested themselves through his numerous avatars in the shape of a human being, animal or human-animal combined form, possessing great, and sometimes supernatural powers. All these avatars of Vishnu appeared in the world to correct some great evil or to effect good on Earth.

In Thailand, purple is the colour for mourning but in Western cultures it represents royalty, luxury, intuition, even magic. In the West, people wear black to funerals as a colour for mourning but in Japan, it is a colour of honour.

Black is an interesting colour fashion wise. It represents power and authority which is why so many business suits are in no-nonsense black. Even in martial arts, the black belt is the highest achievement one strives for.

SO WHAT'S YOUR COLOUR? ANY FAVOURITES? Well, here's a list of positive and negative qualities for those of you who like to wear....

RED: impulsive, center of attention, ambitious, like to be the best you can be, passionate, expressive, irritable when you don't get your way, strong leader.

PINK: childlike in behaviour, affectionate, loving, a need to feel loved and accepted (some prisons use pink tones to neutralize disorder and violence)

BROWN: down to earth, reliable, approachable, conventional, neutral

PURPLE: intuitive, spiritual, drawn to magic and mystery, artistic, imaginative, arrogant

GRAY: practical, conservative, lonely, responsible, dependable, critical

BLUE: calming, relaxing (many baby rooms use blue for a soothing effect), sensitive, inspiration and communication, can be depressed, appreciates tranquility

ORANGE: warm, energetic, enthusiastic, creative, restless, competitive...

GREEN: natural, environment, health, fertile, balance, healing, peaceful, jealousy, envy...

BLACK: wealth, mystery, fear, the unknown, evil, anonymity, power, sophistication, elegance, creativity...

YELLOW: Happy, optimistic, stimulating, lively, gets attention, can be overpowering (yellow rose for friendship)

WHITE: purity, innocence, cleanliness, simple, humble, divine, angelic, loner, spiritual...

So do you have a favourite colour? Bear in mind that you may be drawn to certain colours at certain times eg, a guilty person who feels 'dirty' about their actions may want to wear white to feel purified. A conservative person who usually wears gray or beige may feel self conscious in red because it's such a loud colour but it would be perfect for stepping out of one's comfort zones. Be aware of the clothes you pick out of your wardrobe and see if it reflects your mood!

I'm not wearing 5 layers anymore! :)

2010-02-24T02:50:00.004+08:00

What I love about traveling is it transports you to a different world from the one you know every single time and it does this so effortlessly because everything which seems so normal to everyone in their own backyard may be a competely novel experience to what we're used to from street signs to different language accents, unusual buildings and the way people dress.

When I was in England these last few weeks filming Project Alpha (and then staying on for a much needed break) I totally marvelled at seeing snow because I hadn't really seen any in more than 20 years. I loved how it covered the rooftops and city streets reminding me of Xmas. I didn't mind wearing gloves and hats because I was just a visitor passing through enjoying all these differences but now that I'm back in KL, I'm actually appreciating all the tiniest of things I've taken for granted like wearing open toe shoes or a pair of high heels which would've been totally impractical in the freezing cold.

I remember opening my cupboard thinking "wow, I could wear whatever I wanted to in this heat, even a short skirt and not freeze to death!" lol It's been nice being able to wear slippers and leave my house in a t shirt...all these ridiculously simple things we don't think twice about because we take our tropical weather for granted. In fact, the moment I returned, people were lamenting on how crazy hot it's been in KL and I bet I'll be complaining about the heat anytime soon too but for now, I'm loving it! So much warmth after so much cold is a nice change!

That's the trick, I think. If you're not feeling happy about your current situation (and I'm not talking about weather) or you're experiencing boredom in your everyday life, take yourself out of the situation, even if it's just for a few days. Sometimes seeing everything with a new pair of eyes makes you return with a different perspective. For me, a holiday changes my environment enough to slow down the usual pace of my life and helps me stop and smell the roses so to speak so I tend to appreciate everything more, no matter how small :)

London Part 3

2010-02-11T08:58:00.013+08:00

I decided to stay on in England after filming Project Alpha (since I was already out here n wanted to visit my friends) and I found it amusing how so many locals were apologising about the weather as if the cold was all their fault but the truth is, I was fascinated when I saw the streets lined with white. Wow, when I went to sleep, the grass was still green but everything became white overnight.

I can't remember the last time I actually saw snow. It was maybe 25 years ago when I was a small kid so this was an experience. One moment, I was walking down the street in Kent feeling the biting cold and another moment, it suddenly started pelting down. I was almost shocked coz it reminded me of confetti but it was REAL snow falling out of the sky. See the video coz I managed to capture it off my camera! brr it was about minus 6 degrees.

I kept thinking of my freezer in KL coz it was like walking around at that same temperature. Actually, if you wanna split hairs, this was colder than my freezer back home!

Needless to say there was no one sitting around unless you wanted to be a part of the frozen furniture.

I was like everyone else on the street walking with chin down and hands stuffed into my jacket. Gosh, this was absolutely my coldest day in England so far.

The kids were playing with the snow and throwing it on each other. Adults just walked on too cold to be amused by the weather ;)

I had to take a shot of this scribbled in the snow by one of the kids ;)

The snow was alright for a couple of days but I can't imagine a whole season of it so I was relieved when the sun came out the next day. Mind you, don't be fooled by how bright it looks.

It was still freezing! haha but I'm enjoying the English country side. It's such a change of scenery and pub meals here like bangers n mash, pies and fish and chips are sooo cheap! :)

I notice on the busses here "Valentine's Day" is now showing, the movie. Such a star studded cast, looks like fun. If any of you have seen it, let me know if it's worth watching? Or any movie for that matter? Suggestions? (coz I'm not doing much outdoors in this weather haha) Thanks guys and Happy belated Valentines day n Gong Xi Fa Chai for all those celebrating...don't lose too much money. Hey, I managed to win 10 pounds playing darts with some friends here hehe ;)

Project Alpha in London Part 2

2010-02-11T04:22:00.008+08:00

I am so relieved I got this furry head piece at Camden town coz it helps to block the wind factor. Without anything on your head, your ears can get really cold super fast. Where's your beanie Niki?

I love a good ole English breakfast and we had one every day before leaving the hotel.

Ming was a fabulous host. He took us to Borough Market which was fascinating.

It was alive with outdoor cooking, food lovers and people buying groceries.

Apparently, Jamie Oliver n Gordon Ramsay from Hell's kitchen also buy ingredients from this famous food market!

We then headed off to Stamford Bridge to film football fans going to the Chelsea vs Arsenal game.

It was such a sight to see travellers on the tube with their dogs! They were all so dignified and well behaved (again I wondered whether my own pugs would travel with such nonchalance or composure) yet thinking about it, I reckon they would embarrass me, wide eyed like country bumpkins coz my dogs have never boarded public trains haha

These HD cameras were darn heavy n we wouldn't wanna knock anyone on the train with it so thx David n Mike for babysitting the cams n allowing our cameramen to have a break!

Moment we got off the train, we heard the football fans singing in the street. It was an incredible atmosphere and they're obviously all passionate about their favourite teams.

The police kept a watchful eye on the crowd for safety. There were tonnes of police in the area on foot and on horses. There were heaps of Chelsea fans down the strip selling Chelsea football stuff.

Xiaxue was saying she felt out of place amongst these hard core football fans so she was mighty relieved when we left for dinner :)

U know how we are often relieved to get inside a building coz it's so hot and humid on the streets? Well, same relief to be indoors here but just the reverse scenario. People are not scrambling into buildings for their air cons but heaters instead to get warm ;)

It's a wrap, yay!!!! Filming for Project Alpha Season 2 is done but now post production begins! It's gonna take hours n hours in post to edit soooo much footage but I find the process really interesting, almost addictive coz time slips by without you feeling it in an editing suite. Editing powerfully influences how the story is told n at least I don't have to be wearing any make up in post production since it's all behind the scenes! :)

Project Alpha in London Part 1

2010-02-09T05:17:00.009+08:00

The morning of my flight to London, I woke up at 5am and my body could barely move coz I went to bed at 330am! I was up all night trying to pack. When I got to KLIA, I found out that everyone had done the same so they could just sleep on the plane. Michael (above) director of Project Alpha had no sleep at all and Niki was blogging at the airport and hardly had a wink of sleep himself so we were hoping the flight wouldn't be full!

We were sooo lucky. It wasn't a full flight on Malaysia Airlines so I found a row to myself and completely knocked out for almost 8 hours. Flying to London from KL took 13 hours but it just flew by. It was a really comfortable flight. I know some people don't enjoy long flights but for me, flying means I'm going somewhere and no one can contact me in the sky so it's quality time to myself. I enjoy the quiet time to catch up on reading or watching movies on demand :) I saw Law Abiding Citizen on board. It was really good!

I felt fresh as a daisy at Heathrow since I slept remarkably well. I felt the cold the moment I walked off the plane. It was unusual to see the MAS uniform with a long coat!

Everything was pitch dark when we arrived in London. I thought it was night time but it was only 5pm!

We were told that Mayfair is a really expensive, posh area of London. I wasn't used to seeing doormen speaking perfect English with top hats and long coats! All the top fashion designer houses were just walking distance from the Millennium Hotel. I thought of redmummy.com when I was going past Hermes, Jimmy Choo and Gucci :) We were so fortunate to be staying in such a central location.

I got up at 5 am on my first morning in London (my body clock hadn't adjusted itself) so I ran a hot bath and took my time before wandering down to Oxford Street to have breakfast. The trees were amazing and I saw several dogs round Grosvenor Square including 2 well behaved pugs off leash.

I wondered how my Malaysian pugs would cope with the cold....would probably have to buy them jumpers if they ever came here *chuckle*

I wasn't really sure what Xiaxue would be like to work with but she was prompt on all our early morning call times and less of a diva than I expected. She speaks her mind, no nonsense so at least you know where you stand! ;)

Ming and Tim from nuffnang were in London this week and Ming said we absolutely must catch Wicked the musical. It is a prequel to Wizard of Oz. Amazing set and really interesting story. Ming was raving about it and when I saw it myself, I understood why. It was incredible!

Filming in general was really hectic. We shot everywhere we went on planes, trains and on foot. We were always on the go so it was nice to sit down with no cameras rolling on our second night. Ming wanted to take us out to a fine dining restaurant. The food dishes looked like serious works of art!

The whole Project Alpha crew returned this morning (oi, you guys got off easy!) coz today was the coldest day we've had since we arrived. I couldn't believe it. I was walking toward the tube station and it started to 'rain' but it wasn't rain. It was snowfall. My coat had white flakes all over it. It's soooo cold here!

I've decided to stay on in London but I'm excited about seeing the footage from Project Alpha when I get back to KL. Project Alpha Season 2 is sponsored by Adidas Fragrance and the official broadband sponsor is P1. ok, tired now. Blog more later, nightey ;)

Can you keep a Secret?

2010-02-03T00:57:00.011+08:00

There is always a night out of the blue that makes me think of him and this is one of those nights so I've dredged up this old blog. I doubt you've seen it. I wrote it ages ago so here it is...

You know how you can meet a stranger at a party and never forget them because they made a big impact on you? Well, I met a guy at a party years ago in Australia. We didn't even exchange numbers. We met only once and I've never ever seen him since. We were like ships passing in the night but I will never forget meeting him because it was an intense and highly unusual encounter.

I recall he had a shaved head and tribal tattoos. He was over 6 foot, really lean with a hard looking jawline. Basically, he looked like a gangster. You wouldn't wanna cross his path in a dark alley because he looked dangerous.

For some reason, he singled me out at this party and asked if he could have a moment? I nod a little nervously because looking around, I realised we were completely alone on the outer balcony.

He asked me point blank "can you keep a secret?" I nod again even more nervously because I feel he's under pressure. Like a bottle of uncorked wine about to burst open spilling its red contents everywhere.

There was a myriad of conflicted expressions on his face like he was in pain or was suddenly weighing up whether he should tell me or not.

"What is it?" I ask him. "It's ok. You can tell me" I'm not even sure why I used the tone a soothing mother uses on her terrified son but that's what he drew out of me. I was genuinely concerned and more than a little disturbed because he looked like he was about to have a nervous break down.

And that's pretty much what happened. His head was in his hands. He said he'd been carrying a burden which grew heavier by the year and that he couldn't take it anymore. The secret was eating him up, destroying his peace of mind. He was tired of putting up a front and being someone else every day. He was so exhausted by the lie (I was wondering who he was pretending to be but didn't dare stop him. It was all starting to flow out like therapy)

He went on to say that he was the ring leader of a gang of guys who were all "alpha" males. His best friend was also in this gang and he'd been hiding something from him which was becoming unbearable.

He goes on to say "I'm in love with my best friend and if he ever found out, he would probably spit in my face, maybe even kill me" I gasped because it was so unexpected. There was no trace of anything remotely gay about him so I didn't see it coming.

He said he tried being "normal" He even went out with a couple of girls but he couldn't bring himself to sleep with them. He knew there was something not quite right or missing but he just kept quiet. He suppressed all urges thinking they would go away. They never did.

After all, he was in this gang of blokes that even made fun of gays and he would laugh along with them and their "poofter jokes" with the gang never knowing he was a closet case.

I asked him (J)
J: "have you told anyone about this?
He said (H)
H: "no, never"
J: "So why are you telling me?"
H: "because it doesn't matter anymore"
J: "how can that be? Aren't you worried I will tell someone about you?"
H: "of course I am. It's a burning secret I've carried for so many years. I've not told a soul. My Dad would even disown me. I know it"
J: "I promise I won't say anything. There's no one who you know I know. You're safe. We're total strangers"
H: "I probably won't be around tomorrow anyway"

OMG. My heart started to race. I felt helpless because he could see no way out of his situation. Sadly, he was NOT going to be accepted by his parents nor his male gang of friends but what he was planning was not a solution. He couldn't be serious surely? Could this guy be planning his own death? He was shaking. I was so frazzled. I told him he could call me if he was thinking about doing anything really stupid.

I went to get a pen to write down my phone number for him. When I got back to the balcony, he was gone. I asked everyone about him but no one even knew who he was! He must've gate crashed the party which is why he was extra safe there baring his soul to a complete stranger in a roomful of strangers. He knew no one there!

I was deeply troubled by this strange meeting (one of the most disturbing in my life) but there was nothing I could do. I said a prayer for him but I never ever heard or saw him again.

Over the years, I find my thoughts flicking back to that night and I have so many unanswered questions.

"Did he do it?"
"Was I the last person he spoke to?"

I can only hope he found a way to live with himself. Somehow.

It's sad how we pigeon hole people and put them into boxes so confining sometimes that they split open under pressure.

I really feel for this guy and for everyone like him. Be careful not to bottle up your own identity to a point of a total meltdown. By then, it may be too late. I know we can't expect others to accept us if we don't wholeheartedly accept ourselves first. At the end of the day, you must be able to live with yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

I truly believe that we are all God's creation, God's children. However we may come.

Pugs on set!

2010-02-01T23:59:00.001+08:00

A few days ago, we shot a scene for Project Alpha round the lake with Cheesie and my pugs. She drew quite a few stares walking my dogs in her high heels and that super cute hair do!

There were so many dogs out in Desa Parkcity, wow! Some of them had outfits, some were jogging by with their owners. It was wonderful to see so many different breeds being walked by responsible dog owners coz it's so important to walk your dog. It drains all that excess energy in them. Even if you have a garden, it's still just a big cage. Dogs need to be walked every day. If it's a large dog, then twice a day.Seriously!

My prayers have been with Cheesie for the safe recovery of her Siberian husky Koyuki. Only a 3month old puppy and it has contracted the Parvo virus. How devastating for a new dog owner to be told there's a 50/50 chance your dog won't make it. The good news is he's had one healthy piece of shit (excuse my French) but it's true. When a sick dog finally has a healthy, normal looking poo, it's a great indicator he's recovering so fingers crossed Cheesie!

It's just the worst thing to see your dog in pain coz it makes you feel so helpless as an owner. It reminds me of when Harley was a puppy...after only a week of having him, he suddenly woke up one day with no appetite. Just like that and he seemed really weak.

He rushed him to the vets. He had suspected canine distemper, was immediately put on a drip with a chance of him not making it. Gosh,I went to pieces when the doctor told me dogs can die from this and Harley was just a tiny puppy! I couldn't believe it. A perfectly normal puppy one day and impending disaster the next but Harley pulled through. It wasn't distemper. I was so relieved.

This was young Harley (when he used to be slim) but he looks like Winston Churchill now and he's still absolutely adorable with his 'old man' concerned face! ;)

Did a headstand for one full minute!

2010-01-25T20:30:00.017+08:00

After shooting all day yesterday at Be Yoga, I reckon I've become just that bit more flexible.

KY dropped by for a limbo rock competition in his work shirt...hello?

It turns out that the first person Henry Golding met in Malaysia was Ninie Ahmad so I interviewed him to get the low down on her for Project Alpha! While I was at it, I found out what his "type" was (on cam la...was working, not hitting on him ;)

Naturally, I was wondering whether Henry does yoga and he said "to be honest, occasionally I would do a class here and there. Ninie has to drag me tho" lol

It was an electric atmosphere during the limbo rock coz the bar was getting insanely low (beneath knee level) and everyone sort of held their breath till the person made it over to the other side. We captured all this on film but it doesn't compare to being there.

Niki Cheong was amazed every time the bar got lowered yet again. What?? and my chinese stylist from A Cut Above out of nowhere was giving Ninie a run for her money!

We had no idea this shy quiet fella could do my hair AND the limbo so well. They were the only 2 standing at the end of this competition but Ninie won!

Then I had to rush to KLIA for an airport scene to send klubbkidd off to Sarawak. I got there before him but it was easy to spot his shocking red hair from across the terminal! We were rushing so I told him to use the Malaysia Airlines self check-in kiosk.

Not many people are aware of this and it can save you lining up with your trolley. The boarding pass just comes straight out of the machine. So much easier! If you have bags, there's a designated row to drop them off so you still don't have to line up!

Then I was back in the make up chair or rather floor *chuckle* to continue shooting Ninie Ahmad. If I'm not on my berry, I'm plugged into my lap top with my wiggy. It's been one jam packed weekend so moment I have any time to sit, I find myself catching up on work emails

After doing some gravity defying poses, the crew followed Ninie back to her apartment since she was in between classes. Ninie Ahmad is an Adidas brand ambassador to the bone. She has scores of Adidas shoes, clothes and even stationary but get this. She even bathes with Adidas shower gel

I ran into Sunitha from Harpers Bazaar magazine at the "Be Happy right here, right now"

Sunitha was saying yoga was doing wonders for her both pysically and mentally. After a class, she walks our feeling like a different woman :)

I spoke to the speaker Vinay Kumar on "Be Happy right here right now" who was explaining that you cannot find happiness from the world or outside yourself. It must come from within.

If happiness to you is your precious car, the problem is if anything happened to your car, it's as though it's happening to you (yet you are NOT a car) so your happiness is at the mercy of the external world.

The kyanite.tv crew going a bit nuts after so many hours of filming. Now they're trying to attempt some yoga poses themselves but it looks all wrong like they're about to start a race.

It has been a while since I've done a head stand so I was hoping I would be able to stay perfectly still for it. They wanted to try and get as many people together in a room to stand on their heads for a full minute.

It doesn't sound long but believe me, when you're balancing on your head, one whole minute is pretty long! It really does take concentration. I folded my legs into lotus which I found more stable ;)

Last time I was standing on my head was with Jehan Miskin on Langkawi beach. It was right after we filmed our very last scene for Health Buzz. I'll never forget it. The sky was vibrant orange and hues of purple. Our usually boisterous crew were just silent in awe and tourists jsut sat to watch the sky keep changing colour. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I'd ever seen. Some of the best things in life are free! :)

Cameras rolling......action!

2010-01-22T23:45:00.010+08:00

We were shooting Niki Cheong for Project Alpha this morning (it's hard to believe he's older than 30) Well, I wanted to interview someone close to him to get the low down *wink* and Niki had the perfect special guest on set who's known him almost forever and she's also family. Some of you may or may not know this but Elaine Daly (below) and Niki Cheong are first cousins!

"So tell me Elaine, what was he like as a kid? any embarrassing stories.....?" and there were sooo many interesting insights about these cousins (she calls him by his Chinese name by the way ;). On the surface, you may not think they have a lot in common coz they seem really different but they're in sync on fashion, relationships (just wait for the ep to come out la! you'll see what I mean ;) More on Niki later on....

I then rushed to cover the Adidas Stella McCartney event to interview Ninie Ahmad who is one of the brand ambassadors of Adidas and she's also one of our Season 2 bloggers.

Amber Chia who also does yoga was telling me that she recently watched 'The Secret'

She was really inspired by it and she now really believes in the power of positive thinking.

Ninie Ahmad posing with the models. Somehow, she's managed to get them to do semi yoga poses in high heels.

Fauziah Ghous will probably kill me for this but I really wanna run her bloopers. So cute la...she kept cracking me up, the crew too because every time she fluffed a line, she would start giggling.

I interviewed Jessica (brand manager of Adidas Malaysia) on why they picked Ninie Ahmad as their brand ambassador and she was telling me how hardworking and dedicated Ninie was. Though Jessica works on Adidas clothing, she also likes Adidas Fragrance particularly their shower gel :)

Ninie said we must come to her open day at Be Yoga tomorrow. She's trying to break the Malaysian Book of Records for no. of people standing on their heads! There's also gonna be a yoga/limbo competition. This I have to see!

Talk about living and breathing the yoga life. Ninie was just talking to someone about yoga and before you know it, she's kicking off her high heel shoes and I see her standing on her head!

I was told she never really stops doing yoga. Well, I believe it now. I bet if you ran into her at a party, you could ask for a demo and she'll probably do one for you on the spot *chuckle*

Well, I'm gonna try her hot yoga class in the morning. Never done hot yoga before. Wish me luck!! I'm sure my make up might start melting off while filming her tomorrow yikes! It's gonna be tough but I'm really looking forward to it.

I'll be multi tasking! Filming Project Alpha but working out at the same time. If I have a break in between classes or scenes, I promise I'll get my P1 Wiggy out and start uploading the shots. Ok, I better hit the sack. Long day ahead. Nightey all! zzz :)

Shooting in The Lost World of Tambun

2010-01-18T22:17:00.011+08:00

It took me a while to get used to how shaolintiger.com (on left) speaks. He sounds like a chinese dvd seller. I'm serious! When we were having dinner by the road side in Ipoh, he was ordering all his favourite dishes and seemed surprised I didn't know them "I tell you ah, I'm more Chinese than you wan!"

When our food arrived (and we were all starving, mind you), KYspeaks (on right) stopped us from touching the dishes so I thought he wanted us to pray first? but he needed to photograph everything first *eyes rolling* these adorable food bloggers, I tell you lol

Cheesie reminds me of a Barbie doll but Japanese version. You know she even speaks and reads Japanese even though she's Malaysian. She's so darn cute albeit a bit impractical. She showed up in Tambun with fashion leggings, a trolley suitcase and funky high heels OMG. I asked her how she was gonna walk round the theme park in "those things" but she said she would be fine. "Vanity first" she chirps with her purple lenses and perfect eye lashes ;)

She's a blogger through and through. Even falls asleep in between scenes still holding on to her blackberry. Can't blame her though coz the monkey in the petting zoo actually bit her blackberry and dented it!

This is Malaysia's very own Reese Witherspoon. Kimberlycun.com really reminded me of her. Something about the lips and the shape of her face. We had a great chat about our dogs :)

I'm glad I did my one on one interview with shaolintiger sitting down or I would've got a neck ache. Can u imagine he's 6ft 5!!

Speaking about tigers, we went to see the Siberian tigers in Tiger valley. Their eyes are so penetrating...they're truly magnificent creatures and it made my heart sink when I saw the sign board saying that they're only 300-400 left in the world!!! I knew they were endangered but I didn't realise that they were on the brink of extinction. As for tigers in general, they're only 5000 to 7000 left on our planet coz humans have been forcing all these animals out of their homes with deforestation etc. We can't just sit idly by and keep "taking" from Mother Nature coz we've taken too much upsetting the ecosystem and balance of life.

It's not just the environmental issues killing them, it's people slaughtering them for their different body parts despite any proven scientific or medical evidence to this day. I filmed a message about tigers right there and then which I'm gonna upload on Ruumz causes once I'm done (since they encourage the public to support any cause of your choice).

Sunway's Lost World of Tambun is surrounded by limestone hills dating back 400 million years! It's prehistoric. When you're walking toward the needle of Tambun, it's hard to not be awestruck. The limestone walls are immense. You almost expect a dinosaur to come running out of the caves ;)

Half the people in my crew had been to Ipoh but never knew this place existed or that the caves were that ancient. Even the bloggers had been to Ipoh but they had never been to this incredible spot before (but they certainly knew where to eat! ;)

It was such a fun weekend. It didn't feel like "work" and all the bloggers were so easy to film coz they hang out with each other all the time so they had natural chemistry on cam. They were constantly teasing each other. At every animal enclosure, they worked out how heavy the animal was by teasing Cheesie "OMG that animal is 8 times heavier than Cheesie" "Gosh, even the phython weighs more than Cheesie!" ;)

It feels great to be back on set again. Just before Xmas I was filming in the Borneo jungle (where I lived with the dusun hill tribes. It was really beautiful) so it was nice to be back in the outdoors this weekend. There's something so therapeutic about it. Nature's good for the soul :)

Project Alpha Season 2, uncovering Malaysia's top bloggers will be out in April but I'll keep you guys in da loop (yes I promise to blog more often ok) so that you can keep in touch with the whole production process. Piecing together so much footage is gonna be a sort of pleasurable hell but it WILL be hellish coz we have cameras rolling reality style (this is unscripted) so there will be so much footage to choose from n edit down. Better buy some microwaveable popcorn me thinks ;) We're gonna be camping in the editing suite! :)

Project Alpha Season 2:

Adidas Fragrance - Official Main sponsor

P1 W1max - Official Broadband sponsor

Malaysia Airlines - Official flight Sponsor

Rimmel London - Official Make up Sponsor

Shooting Azwan Ali on Project Alpha

2010-01-16T01:20:00.036+08:00

I really didn't know what to expect when I first met Azwan Ali but I knew within a few seconds of meeting him, that I wanted him on Project Alpha. For good or for bad, he was the stuff of reality TV. He had great camera presence and he really makes an entrance.

On Project Alpha (uncovering Malaysia's top bloggers),they all come from diversely different walks of life but there was no one quite like him on the show. Actually, I must correct myself. I'm not sure if I know anyone personally like Azwan. Period haha ;)

Goodness, he told us he was expecting 100 celebrities at his event. I thought it was just a figure of speech. He wasn't kidding! There were so many that I lost count! We asked everyone we could find what they thought of Azwan Ali! ;)

Diana Danielle in the make up chair who told me she saw me on Pillow Talk, gosh, she must've been like 13? coz I think she's only 18 now ;) She was really accommodating and sweet with the whole crew and she had a lot of positive things to say about Azwan. This wasn't the case with everyone *chuckle* but that's what makes Azwan such an interesting character. Very colourful indeed! ;)

It was great having Redmummy there as well. I wanted a blogger to help me cover the event especially coz my Malay is not strong so she was my co host for this segment and we went around together interviewing everyone :)

Mawi and his wife Ekin (above) and Hans Isaac (below) telling us that they had no idea what Azwan was up to. Many were speculating on whether it was a gimmick la or one of Azwan's

grand jokes ;) Amy (below) really doesn't look his age.

Actually, no one knew what the purpose of the event was. Even though we were covering it, we also didn't know! It's exactly what Azwan wanted.

That's why he labelled this event "full of secrets" There were 7 secrets in total he was unveiling and him being on Project Alpha was one of them. Project Alpha Season 2 has the same main sponsor returning which is Adidas Fragrance yay!

We now also have P1 W1max as our official broadband sponsor :) Redmummy and I asked the celebs to tell us what they're passionate about in a short, simple message to cam. A lot of them spoke about saving the environment. It was interesting to see what's closest to their heart. Hans naturally cares about marine life as a diver, Aznil spoke about children, Syafinaz Selamat on Aids etc etc.

We interviewed so many celebs. There were so many heartwarming messages. Once they're all nicely edited and compiled, you can catch them all on Ruumz Causes Since I asked everyone what they thought of Azwan, I thought I'd leave you with a few words of my own :) Excuse my bare face. All my Rimmel make up from the shoot (thank you A Cut Above team) has all been cleansed off coz I'm bout to hit the sack. Been shooting since 730am.

I'm on set right now at Sunway's Lost World of Tambun returning tomorrow. I held a python today in the petting zoo yikes!! Next week, we are flying to Kuching and Sabah but next month, guess what????? Project Alpha will be flying to London (Malaysia Airlines official flight sponsor) to cover an exclusive story! I can't wait but I'm gonna have to get some serious winter wear brrr and when the show goes LIVE, you will see and hear it on ERA fm, HITZ radio/tv/online, kyanite.tv, nuffnang.com and the dailychilli

Stop hogging my new laptop!!!

2010-01-12T18:33:00.002+08:00

Pickle has always been fascinated by technology round the house and she was staring at my brand new HP Pavilion DM3 Notebook PC. Quite intently, I might add. She’s the only pug I know who watches TV to a point that I can’t even turn on Animal Planet or Nat Geo.

I learnt this the hard way when I was TRYING (operative word being TRYING to watch Beverly Hills Chihuaha but she kept barking whenever dogs appeared on screen and I had NEVER heard her bark before so it amazed me that she can actually recognise other animals with crystal clarity (which is pretty remarkable coz the other 2 pugs I have can’t even ‘see’ themselves in a mirror!)

So there she was looking at my new lap top. Can’t blame her really ;) I was fascinated myself by how light it was and it’s only less than an inch thick. It’s ultra sleek and the silvery finish is very classy. I thought it was gonna be really expensive but its RM3, 299 which is pretty affordable for such an elegant looking lap top. Plus, the battery can last for up to 10 hours which is perfect for me coz I’m always on the go. It also comes equipped with wireless connectivity and includes a low-light VGA HP Webcam and digital microphone for me to stay in touch with my family and friends.

I could’ve got Pickle to scram coz I needed to get on line and she was hogging my chair but I decided let her surf the net with me. She was incredibly knowledgeable after a couple of hours being on line. Just check out the furrowed lines of wisdom on her forehead! Haha ;)

After the panel discussion I had at the HP future Is Event, I volunteered to give the new HP Pavilion DM3 Notebook PC a personal review and I have to give it 2 thumbs up (and 2 paws up from Pickle). I like the look of it and the feel of the keyboard and it has been running really smoothly so I’m gonna keep this one! All to myself. Oh, well, not ENTIRELY coz Pickle wants to flirt with chihuahas in cyberspace *eyes rolling* ;) But seriously, the MediaSmart software on the HP Pavilion dm3 helps me to manage and enjoy music, videos, and photos easily and fast!

Going the distance

2010-01-10T12:36:00.002+08:00

When kyanite.tv were filming in Borneo, I was remembering all the shoots I had done where the film crew did whatever it took to get "the shot" I recall my cameraman on Jojo's Ticket to Wellbeing dangling off a wall of gushing water trying to capture Yasmin Hani and me when we were waterfall abseiling. That was scary but pretty exhilarating!

While we were on the way to Kampung Buayan (driving till you cannot anymore coz there's no road access where we were going) Tony spotted a high angle vantage point so the whole crew jumped out of their vehicles to climb up there JUST to get a top down shot of me driving by in the 4x4. And I drove by quite a few times till they were satisfied!

To be honest, a helicopter would have been better for the stunning forest shots but where got the budget la ;) The footage is beautiful coz Borneo is beautiful. I see it on the screens everyday in editing. It was kinda refreshing how I wore almost no make up throughout the filming for this (living in the jungle and all) so I took less than 10 mins to get ready for "set" This will not be the case later this week when I start filming Project Alpha. I will be back in the make up chair and someone else will be doing my hair for an hour but at least I won't have to do it myself, yay! :)

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

2010-01-03T15:31:00.008+08:00

Whenever I hear Xmas carols, it always surprises me how another year has gone by. Reflecting on 2009, I realise that one of the things I wanted to change was the time I've been waking up every day.

I was telling my Mum (on left) that I wanted to start my days earlier so that I could get a lot more done in the day. I'm determined to become a morning person and a super fit one this year! I mean it!

But before all these big plans kick off and the flat mid riff I'm gonna get, I just let myself go in Singapore ;) I ate so much over Xmas and I figured it was the end of the year so why not right? Live it Up!!! This is my childhood friend Calvin who I've known forever and his friend Chloe...

It was pure decadence but I reassured myself that my whole fitness regimen can start in 2010 so relax and let your hair down Jo ;) I had a blast at New Years. I didn't wanna think about the pile of work I was returning to (filming of Project Alpha Season 2 is already starting in January yikes!) but there's a time n place for everything. I wanted to be on holiday and be fully present with my family at the end of the year.

My sister Nicole (on left) is a bookworm to the max. Her bedroom is like a wall to wall library so it was good to see her on the dance floor, you go girl ;) Thanks for dragging her off for a dance Chloe!

I thought about all the count downs happening all over the world. For that moment in time, there is universal hope for a new beginning. There are those who are grateful at the turn of the year and those who are relieved that 2009 is behind them.

Tara and Peggy didn't follow the Black and White dress code so they really stood out *chuckle*

Then there are those trying to clear out the clutter and start fresh with new ideas, new jobs and different perspectives. For those who are single, they think about finding someone new.

For those whose business was not so good, they wish for it to be better and for those who are already happy, they seek to maintain that level of happiness.

For myself, this year has been a lot of hard work because I started up different things from total scratch (my own website/blog and creating new TV shows). It has been a great learning curve and whatever obstacles I've encountered in '09 have really made me grow. We are constantly evolving and you can resist the process or accept and welcome change coz it's inevitable. I'm looking forward to this year!

I managed to get my father on the dance floor for just one dance and the smoke machine went off. That's the haze around us in case you're wondering. My father is an awesome source of wisdom and I feel fortunate that I can bring anything up with him. He's always got something pertinent and meaningful to say.

Goodbye 2009 (night owl) and Hello 2010 (morning person). I woke up at 7am today and I loved it because I was already out hiking with my dogs in the outdoors. I'm going all out to be fitter and more productive this year. I want to manage my time better. I don't wanna procrastinate about things. I want to say I'm going to do something and just action it! For instance, I declare that I will get a toned, flat stomach this year amongst a whole lot of other things hehe :)

I just watched AVATAR

2009-12-27T16:57:00.005+08:00

Here's a video blog on what I thought of Avatar...quite a parallel for me coz I JUST returned from shooting in the Borneo rainforest and documenting their way of life!

This cat belongs to the Dusun tribe family we lived with in the rainforest. She is about 24 years old! Can you imagine? She has been around since before their daughter was born (who is already 22 now). Maybe it's the unpolluted air and organic food she lives on, wow! I couldn't believe how old she was.

My Borneo adventure

2009-12-21T22:52:00.008+08:00

I totally disconnected from the city last week when my film crew and I trekked deep into the heart of the Borneo Jungle. I was filming a pilot for an international travel series. It was strange leaving my phone and wallet behind in the hotel at KK coz there was no need for money or a phone line. Not where we were going anyway.

Being in the 4 x 4 was an adventure in itself. We had to cross rivers with it. It was one helluva ride on muddy, undulating terrain. The trucks could only take us so far coz where we were going had no access by road. We had to make the rest of the journey on foot. We were warned that we would be hiking for hours, sometimes uphill and sometimes across rapids with no other way over to the other side.

It was raining cats and dogs when we got to that point so we had to trek in the pouring rain and some slopes were so slippery, I had to hold onto the guides in case I slid off. I was told that we would be walking thru leech country and that they came out in full force when it was wet. OkaaaY....great! That's just great! *grimace*

The weather was unpredicatable. Sometimes, the sun would come out before the rain started again in another area. I was struck by how beautiful it was. Borneo has one of the most bio diverse rainforests in the world. The sprawling padi fields were a sight to behold and the mist settling over the faraway hills made me stop in my tracks just to admire it.

I lived with the Dusun tribe's family. Their home was spotlessly clean and bare. To be honest, after walking for hours and hours to get there, the thought of getting out of my wet clothes and being warm and dry felt like a luxury.

Their home was a wonderful sight lit by oil lamps and candles. They eat a lot of rice and vegetables. I once went to pick ferns with them for dinner and the head of the village taught me how to cast a fishing net. I was totally crap at it. Goodness, it was so heavy! When I first arrived, one of the local boys was playing a guitar. It made me smile listening to him. How peaceful and simple was this life.

He smiled politely when I arrived until I screamed when I checked my legs (they were really bloody from all the leech bites) He wasn't shocked about that. That's just a normal sight to them. It was my reaction that took him aback. The family must've thought to themselves "goodness, it's like she's never seen a leech in her life. What a city person" haha ;)

It took a little getting used to bathing in an icy stream but there was something so refreshing about it. Every night, I could hear the forest all around me and every morning I would wake up to a different kind of alarm clock. It wasn't the usual electronic beeps on snooze but roosters going coo-coo-roo-koo

It's going to be a lot of work going through the footage and editing the trip but I can't wait to see it come together as a story. I am truly thankful to have been given the privilege of working and staying amongst the Dusun people in Kampung Buayan and Kampung Terian. For a city dweller, this was a really radical departure from my every day life.

Every once in a while, it's good to step out of our comfort zones. Thank you Borneo Colours for inviting our film crew to cover this coz this was one gorgeous part of the world I never knew existed n thanks for taking all these behind the scenes photos for us Lence. L

iving in the Borneo rainforest is something I will never forget nor the warm hospitality of its people. It

was an incredible experience for me! (even if I suffered cramps and leech bites getting there! ;)

I love Jamming!

2009-12-14T00:57:00.008+08:00

When you enter a jam session, you never know what you're gonna come up with. I love the process. It's like a creative brainstorm.

Anything goes really and every musician can latch on to the common denominator of the bass beat. You can stray off, add layers but always come back to the bass. Since I'm a rhythm tapper, the audio element is far more important than the visual because you are essentially a drummer or musical instrument with your feet.

I've shed quite a few calories just jamming this last couple of weeks. It's incredible how tiring it is, like running on the spot but I love it coz you're making music :) The speed Kong Eu and I can get up to is as high energy as running flat out on a treadmill.

Especially if you do pick-ups, toe stands or pull backs, as we call them. Super tiring but if you catch every sound at a rapid rate, it sounds like a drum which is why tap and percussion make such a great fusion.

I always look so crap in tap shots because it's hard to catch a sharp shot. The one below is one of many which are all blur coz I'm moving too fast.

And even when the shot is not blur, there's always some issue with it. My eyes aren't even open in the shot below. Look, I'm being honest. Could've just told you I tap with my eyes closed coz I don't need them open! Don't play play haha

No, but seriously, I don't memorise steps. Not when I'm jamming. It's free style so I just go with the flow ;) This is Jothi on left and Paul from Tugu Drum Circle. So awesome having 2 different African drums in da house!! I think there's something quite hypnotic about tribal drums!

Very recently, I've started jamming with the Ramanados band (see below). These guys are up and coming and really talented! I'll be doing a tap act with them accompanied by LIVE percussion for Hannah Tan's Xmas Charity concert on the 20th Dec, 4 to 7 pm at Mid Valley Gardens.

Whole string of artists are performing for free. Even non singers are singing. I heard Hans Isaac and Harith will sing a song. Daphne Iking's also performing. I was asked to sing as well, like everyone else but I said I can only sing with my feet so tap dancing it is for me! :) This should be fun!

Tickets are free but you mustn't come empty handed. If you wanted to watch the concert, bring a Xmas gift for an underprivileged child as your ticket. They will distribute these Xmas gifts to various homes after the concert. Hope to see you there! I'll be in my tap shoes :)

How fast can you say this tongue twister?

2009-12-07T16:18:00.008+08:00

Tongue twisters remind me of my childhood. It's the simplest of memories and the silliest of things we would do that could make kids crack up over nothing. Almost any game, no matter how simple had the ability to be fun :) I used to remember crawling under tables in a classroom, playing police and thieves in the neighbourhood and games we just kinda made up on the spot.

Years later, I realise that anything that makes you laugh or puts a smile on your face is worth doing at any age (just think of how many adults play computer games, read children's books like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or watch movies adapted from comic books like Batman, Spiderman etc and still love going to Disneyland).

Well, I couldn't do the tongue twister in this video. I was laughing too much and it was in Malay. My editing friend sounded like a machine gun! haha. Please give it a shot, excuse the pun ;)

Where the heck am I now???

2009-12-03T00:35:00.023+08:00

When you are in work mode, running late on a tight schedule battling through manic KL traffic to get to an important appointment, you simply can't afford to make a wrong turn which is when it always happens to me! *groan* It's partly due to my crap sense of direction (ok, I admit, I'm never gonna be a navigator. I've even gotten lost in my own "kawasan" near my house) but the road signs don't seem to be consistent either which REALLY doesn't help.

For instance, I was following signs to PJ, turning here, turning there, and always driving toward PJ (or so I thought) but after a while I realised, there was no more mention of Petaling Jaya! WTF? Sometimes, there are trees blocking signboards and when there is nothing blocking a sign, I'm sometimes not able to turn when I'm meant to because I'm on the far right of the highway and I suddenly realise I need to ramp off. The sign just "appears" and you say sh*t! gotta get to the other side.

You can imagine my relief when I got a GPS! That's what people like myself need because that GPS voice tells you exactly where to go and even warns you AHEAD of time "stay right....in 600 metres...etc etc". My first GPS was a Garmin. It's excellent. It has saved me so many times from being hopelessly lost.

I know some people collect watches but I can see myself collecting GPS devices because I simply can't do without. This is my brand new ultra sleek GPS called the "Way Way" which I can also use in Singapore which is really handy when I drive down there for my weekend trips.

When you're already used to a GPS device, you don't act amazed at how it could possibly know your precise location. you get used to how it actually follows the movement of your car on bends. You see, you've probably taken its intelligence for granted. The technology behind it is mind boggling considering sattellite signal has come all the way from outer space. Think back to the moment you ever saw it work so perfectly...didn't you gasp and think it was just amazing. I was like "wow" driving along and then another "wow" because it was spot on!

It makes you wonder about all sorts of things like Aliens and whether we're being watched? *alien sound effects* hehe ok, my mind was trailing off there but on a more practical level, if you are technology freak, I recommend you go to the PIKOM PC Fair happening at KLCC Convention Centre 4th to 6th of December. Should I get another GPS unit? Hmmm....but I need another car first! ;)

My very fun and disastrous round of GOLF!

2009-11-29T16:53:00.018+08:00

I haven't golfed in absolutely ages so I forgot I even had golf clubs! When I decided to golf at Awana with friends, I had to call my ex flatmates to check if they had my golf bag. Lucky they still had it though it was collecting dust in their store room. So here I was at the Awana hoping no onlookers would be around on the first tee coz it would have been embarrassing if I couldn't get past the first ditch! haha ;) Well, I got past it but now the trouble was getting to the hole in a straight line on this very challenging course.

After a bad shot, I found it hard NOT to swear even if only the crickets heard me (and my friends depending on how far away they were standing!). you know things like, "what the f**!" OMG, not again!!! FML, WTF? I'm in the Xmas trees again? Sh*t!" hahahahaa

My score was like 9 on the first hole and then I stopped counting my strokes part way through the game. Not worth it, I figured. It was so crap! lol

Hannah decided to be the official photographer so that her friend Chris from England would have a memory of the trip. She said she would not be playing since she's not a golfer (fair enough but neither were we! haha) I'm no expert obviously but Chris was asking if you should keep your left hand straight on the swing and I was trying to explain it best I could (in video below). Michael (red shirt) who directed Project Alpha had difficulty directing his own shots that day, excuse the pun haha. We lost so many balls that day, I tell you. Hope we didn't kill any unsuspecting fish in the lake!

It started raining like mad after the 4th hole so we found a deserted rest stop which luckily had a table and a few chairs so we were chatting there for a couple of hours. It was cold (well for me at least but not the rest of them coz Michael, Hannah and Chris are ALL from England!) but it was really nice being out of the city for a change. It doesn't feel like KL up there especially on the scenic course. The lakes and sprawling greens made it very peaceful and I was telling Hannah how odd it was to see real pine trees in Malaysia!

We got Hannah to try to hit a few balls for fun. Not bad really...she managed to get the ball off the ground and was quite excited about it. Sorry we have no footage of this but she thinks she should just stick to kick boxing ;)

I may wanna golf again not so much for golf in itself (coz I'm pretty bad at it) but for the experience of just spending the day out with friends in the outdoors. It was really fun and it helped me to disconnect from work and the city just for those few hours :)

Poem about the Sea...

2009-11-24T02:05:00.004+08:00

As I was looking out to sea from Uluwatu temple in Bali, I was struck by how beautiful it was up there. It took my breath away just peering over the edge. I started thinking about this poem I wrote about the ocean...there's something wild and mysterious about the sea. You know I almost drowned once when I was caught in a rip current in a remote region in Australia. Every attempt I made to swim back to the shore seemed to be sending me even further out. It was really frightening. If it wasn't for the fact a surfer swam out to get me, I'm not sure whether I would be here today. Naturally, I have a mixture of respect and awe for the sea. Water can be as harmless and still as a lake or the powerful force that carved out the Grand Canyon. Here's the poem I wrote...

A vision to behold

solely in my mind

Let me take you deep in slumber

lost in sleep

Ocean dreams

on wings of fancy

Journey through my eyes...

Moonlit figures

holding hands

with footsteps light,

lapping waves beckoning

like liquid crystal I'd never seen

Virgin waters

emerald green

hug the coast

rippling sight

like possessive fingers

foamy white

in endless circles

timeless patterns

How beautiful you are...

My twin sister?

2009-11-19T23:02:00.004+08:00

Twins are fascinating. I interviewed a pair of twins once on Pillow Talk some time back and there was this one incident which stuck out in my memory. One of them had food poisoning in one country and called up her Mum to say she had fallen sick. Simultaneously, the other twin who was modelling in another country had pizza with a group of friends. Everyone SHARED the same pizza and everyone was fine but the twin fell sick, just like her sister (even though they were in different parts of the world)

I was just thinking how handy it would be to send my twin off to appear at functions I'm too lazy to go to hehe :) I've heard that some Hollywood actors have doubles to deflect the paparazzi. If you resemble a star who's liked, you'll probably be ok. For eg, there was a guy who owned a cafe and looked like Leonardo Di Caprio to a point people would ask for his autograph on the street. Well, straight after the Titanic was voted best film, his restaurant business boomed. Now, imagine if you looked like a world leader or WANTED person. It would be a hazard to your safety. You would have to keep your head down! ;)

Express yourself!

2009-11-17T03:20:00.001+08:00

Call me bias but I find my pugs so amusing. They have such expressive faces. All those wrinkles they're born with make them look super concerned all the time :)

Pickle (on left) turns over onto her back when I'm leaving the house because she knows it's time to be put back into the garden. She also makes her body very limp so it's hard to pick her up and carry her out. I'm not supposed to tolerate this behaviour as a dog owner but it's just sooo funny how she plays dead n tries to look all innocent *chuckle* and then I get these "poor thing" looks once they're outside waiting to be let back in *eyes rolling* Like naughty kids!
Live The Moment
www.jojostruys.com

The "other" pair of eyes

2009-11-13T02:31:00.004+08:00

Do you ever feel like someone's watching you? For eg, you get that "feeling" someone's eyes are on you and when you turn around, the person quickly looks away? You know there were science experiments conducted on this to prove that humans can "see" "know" and "sense" things without physical sight which defies logical explanation (when u think about it).

The experiments failed to prove we have eyes at the back of our heads coz it was really challenging to have proper controls. For instance, if you knew you were part of the experiment, your heart rate might be higher because you're waiting in anticipation etc so the results weren't accurate.

So in conclusion, science can't prove we know people are staring at us when they do but soooo many of us have experienced it so I say we have a sixth sense. Well, if I stare at YOUR back from across the room at a party and you turn around, I'll be thinking of this blog post! And I'll have one of those ah-ha! moments :)

Create "me" time

2009-11-10T01:11:00.004+08:00

When you're constantly surrounded by people whether it's your colleagues at work, your own family members or strangers you're passing on a busy street, it's important to set some "me" time aside. It could be anything from a good book to a self indulgent massage. Or the basic luxury of sleeping in on the weekend. Hmmm....glorious ;) If you've been working too hard every night, go see that movie you've been meaning to watch coz you may return to your work desk in a better space.

Sounds like common sense but how many of us listen to our bodies? If you're tired, get more rest. If you're dehydrated and weak all the time, drink more water coz it will give you more energy. Just think about one thing you wanted to do this week but never got round to doing it? For myself, it was exercise and I'm not going to make excuses that I didn't have enough time coz I know it's an excuse. I've gotta make the time! The only exercise I got all week were my fingers typing out emails ;)

My pugs on shoot! :)

2009-11-05T04:05:00.044+08:00

The Making of the SPCA Calendar

I received a call from Amber asking if I would be interested to do a shoot with my pugs to raise funds for the SPCA and MNAWF. She was collaborating with the publisher of Pets Lover Magazine on this project. Well, anything to do with animals interests me as a pet owner and treating them with respect and care so of course, I was delighted to be a part of this calendar!

It brought a smile to my face just thinking of the mayhem they would cause in a studio. Incredibly, I managed to get them to sit still on each step for the first shot. I was amazed they didn't jump off. The photographer commented on what good models they were *ahem...dog Mummy glowing with pride*

Harley is a bit afraid of heights (just look at his face) so he remained on the steps even when I walked away from him hehe. I had to carry him off.

It was so cool to be in a make up chair and have my dogs running around. They've never been in a studio before. They were so curious about everything. I was enjoying having them around while I worked :)

True to their nature, this is how attentive they are around a biscuit, no matter how small. They are so greedy, I tell you! ;)

The moment I laid down on the sofa "prop", I think they assumed I was watching TV. They all jumped on to me and got into position looking straight ahead. Perrrrfect!

The single chair was much tougher. Their eyeline was all over the place. Shooting with any dog, let alone 3 is really challenging coz you need to them look straight, not run off all of a sudden and you don't wanna be looking like a mess yourself during the shots. There were so many blur ones but we managed to get them to look straight when my maid stood behind the cameraman and called them.

At the press conference for the calendar launch

I was quite embarrassed that Pickle barked her small head off when she saw Angel Wong's dog (about 4 times her size). What terrible manners!

It was another first for me attending a press con with my pugs! Amber really liked Harley. She kept saying "Oh my God. He's so fat! He's so fat!" Before I could defend poor Harley, she chirps "I like fat dogs. Ooooh, I wanna bring him home"

Harley looked interested in the idea when she was holding his head (you traitor Harley! He's like that round biscuits and pretty girls, gets all starry eyed) but then he eventually made his way back to his Mummy, especially when he saw me enthusiastically patting Amber's golden retriever! haha *wink*

Dogs are like little people. They have feelings and they can get jealous too. If you have a dog at home, love them with all your heart because that's what they do with you. You are their world!

We all have masks!

2009-11-01T02:22:00.002+08:00

We don't just wear masks on special occasions like Halloween. We wear them almost every day. When you greet your boss at work, you have a smile firmly planted on your face (even though you just had an argument with your partner) but you chirp "good morning" smoothly and efficiently even though there's nothing "good" about your morning.

courtesy of my sexy girlfriend Desiree

There are so many situations to "mask" one's real intentions. Imagine how in business negotiations, sometimes you have one partner nodding politely and smiling at his partner while he plots how to back stab him or her.

Then there's the average girl who covers the shadows under her eyes with concealer so that you wouldn't see how tired she really is. Make up is like a weapon when she's wearing it and sometimes a weakness when she takes it off, worried to leave the house or be seen without her "mask"

But there are some things not worth trying to hide when you're in a relationship and it's your true face and real nature. If you try to be someone you're not, it catches up with you. If your partner is eventually going to find out what you're really like, may as well start by being yourself right?

For instance, when a guy puts his best foot forward when he's trying to impress a girl, he might try TOO HARD. Problem with that is over time, it becomes unnatural and difficult to maintain this front.

I actually know a couple of guys who do the opposite (using lesser cars on first dates and playing things down) so that a girl would hopefully like them just for them. Takes a certain amount of security to do that.

Considering we often wear "masks" at work (for me it might be smiling non stop for an ad till your jaw hurts but it's work so you grin and bear it ;) it's important to come home and be YOU or to have friends who you can be yourself around because they keep it real and tell you off if you step out of line.

Well, all this talk about masks makes me wanna wear my honey and oatmeal one! :) Those are the only masks I wear at home okay? *chuckle* and if you don't believe me, ask my pugs!! They really know ME ;)

Time waits for no man...or woman!

2009-10-28T01:13:00.010+08:00

I was just looking at my clock and I decided to record this. And looking at the time now, I'm gonna have to hit the sack. I'm supposed to have "green eyes" for a coloured contact lens launch in the morning. I'm really hoping I'm going to be able to get them on without crying coz when I was at the shop the the other day trying it out for the first time, the shop had to get their tissue boxes out. I was hopeless.

I kept trying to keep my eye open but every time the lens was about to touch my eyeball, by reflex, I let go and closed my eye. I found the thought quite scary of putting something on your eyeball but I was determined to do it. How hard can it be I figured? Oh boyyyy...the lady had to do one eye for me first after my failed attempts so I would see how easy it was. So there I was with one brown eye and one green. I kept telling myself that "I can do this. I WILL get this done" I managed in the end. Hooray!!! It made my eyes look bigger. Really interesting. I know that wearing contact lenses is something that people round the world do every day but I'm a bit nervous knowing I have to wake up and put them in myself for this Freshkon launch *groan* Just not used to it la. Wish me luck!! At least I have the tissue box on stand by :)

So you're Asian?

2009-10-23T14:20:00.008+08:00

I suffered a bit of racism when I was in boarding school in Australia. I was so unprepared for it. I couldn't work out what I had done or said to this one particular Aussie girl in my house who seemed to dislike me because I had black hair and black eyes and was labeled "Asian" or "not one of us".

I remember saying hello out of courtesy when I first laid eyes on her in the corridor (I was only 15 when I got sent to boarding school) and she turned away totally ignoring me and shut her bedroom door. Ouch!

Back home, I had never encountered anyone as rude as this due to my skin colour. It was quite a shock for me. I now know how it feels to be discriminated against and so senselessly. It feels really bad. It's a rejection of an entire human being based on the shade of your epidermis??? Or the slant of your eyeballs???

I didn't know how to react to this girl so I did nothing. I just studiously avoided her. Girls can be quite nasty to live with. I wasn't about to get into a fist fight. Just not my style and it didn't help when I heard she uses a shot gun on her farm to kill all the cockatoos on it!

It's an interesting thing that happened. One night over dinner, the girls in my class asked what I did for my English creative writing piece. I told them the whole story in a nutshell, including the twist at the end.

The cockatoo killer was on that table and she hadn't sat for her English paper yet. She copied my story (can u belive it?) and I discovered to my horror that we both got an "F" becoz the teacher said it was obviously not original. I was so upset this happened to me. I told the teacher she copied me and she did the same so it was my word against hers...sigh

Incredibly, a blond girl on the table that night (who was her friend) just got fed up of how badly she treated me and all the other Asians in the house and went to the teacher herself to set the matter straight. She said it was my script and her friend stole it.

I was so grateful to her coz my paper got re-marked. Boarding school was a real learning curve and I have no regrets. Over time, I found it in myself to forgive that Aussie girl. She didn't know any different. Her parents were racist and inevitably, it rubs off on the kids. Next time you think a negative, judgemental thought about someone, ask yourself, "Do you even know them?" Who gives us a right to judge anyone?

Did you know?

2009-10-19T16:12:00.004+08:00

Guys, I've been so busy in post production hence the vlogs as opposed to blogs. Takes me a shorter amount of time and it's more interactive init? I'm researching scripts for my next lot of MIX fm health/empowerment messages and I came across these basic interesting tips I wanted to share. If you've got a min, that's how long my vlog is ;)

A few of us have just recorded some breast cancer messages for NTV 7 in conjunction with Harpers Bazaar magazine. Girls, please do check yourselves. It's scary to think that one in 19 of us women here in Malaysia develop breast cancer. It only takes a few moments to conduct a self examination but it can save your life!

Beyonce preview party

2009-10-16T02:43:00.003+08:00

Just got home from a pretty good night out. I don't know why I'm so tired when I wasn't exactly dancing non-stop. To think I used to platform dance for Zouk Singapore when I was a teenager. I was so tireless, even showing up for work in comfortable sneakers coz there was no dress code (just in case you assumed I was in a cage or something...well, no!) I was more of a funky dancer rather than a sexy one. I was the tomboy with the footwork. I would do the running man, the shuffle, you name it. I could dance for hours hardly breaking a sweat. I promise myself I'm gonna get back on to the tennis court and unfold my yoga mat which is collecting cobwebs VERY SOON ;) Well, before I hit the sack, here's how tonight went (in my humble opinion). I've made a video (see above) coz I'm so tired I can barely type.

Gosh, I feel so unfit. Been too busy on Project Alpha. I'm still on it. Sometimes, we edit till dawn (this week, the featured blogger is beautifulnara. The more you watch him, you realise how naturally funny he is. I really enjoyed working on his story :) ok, nightey all zzz

What does Kyanite mean?

2009-10-12T03:04:00.004+08:00

A couple of years ago, I sat down with my business partner trying to come up with a name for our company. I came across the name "Kyanite" and I liked the sound of it coz it was so unusual but I didn't know what it meant. Someone the other day just asked me about it so in case ur wondering, I've explained this in my short vlog :)