As you get older...

When you're a teenager, you wanna be older so that you can be legal, drive a car, be more of an adult. I remember trying to negotiate a curfew with my Mum when I was about 21. I said "1am is just TOO EARLY Mum! Sometimes, people start going out to party as late as 11pm you know!"

Nowadays, I hardly go out unless work brings me to a launch because I'm all partied out and I'm quite happy to unwind at home in the evenings, walk my dogs round the lake or catch a movie. We go through different phases and growing up changes your ideas about what you think is fun. What's important to you may also change in time from the toys you used to love, to the lessons you used to take to the sports you used to play. Even partners change over the years as you change.

Another thing that's different is I find myself thanking people who think I'm much younger than I really am. That's when you know ur getting old! Haha. Just yesterday while I was shooting a magazine spread, the make up artist was putting on the fake lashes for me asked if I was 22? (dunno if you guys know I'm over 30 shhh! ;)

Seriously though, there are advantages about getting older. You simply gather so much more experience along the way doing whatever you do.

I have a friend who's born in the year of the Tiger. He was standing in front of a Tiger statue or decoration 12 years ago thinking to himself "The next time I see this tiger, I'll be 36! I'll probably be married by then. Might even have kids, Wow"

The crazy thing is he just saw it again this year and he remembered what he was thinking the last time he saw the Tiger symbol and it depressed him. OMG, he was 36 already? Not that it's an issue but he's still single and wondering how a dozen years could have just gone by so quickly. As time goes by, we wonder if we're on the right track. We reflect about whether we're happy. We feel the passage of time, subtly but surely.

Age is something we can't change. It's like death. It's a certainty, a fact of life so it's important to "live the moment" because it's so precious. Get out there and do whatever makes you happy! Especially before you see your own chinese zodiac come by again! :)

Scams. Been there, done that!

On my first modeling trip to KL, I remember the door bell ringing and seeing these really sweet, innocent looking girls standing on my doorstep. They said they were doing some scratch and win contest and were so enthusiastic about it, I found myself being lulled along. They told me to simply choose an envelope and scratch off the silver so I figured why not? Turns out, I won something for my kitchen, on the spot and one of the girls went downstairs to get it. Everything seemed in order. It was in a box, all brand new. I was really surprised. Looking back, this is such a good strategy because everyone is in a good mood and it seemed so easy. What made it doubly harder for me to mistrust them is that they seemed like really nice girls.They were probably students working for this company part time because they looked no more than 20. They let me in to a little secret (which made me think they're on my side). They said almost all the prizes were already won because they were already at the end of their contest period but no one had won the grand prize yet which was a car. They had a photo of their prizes in a professional looking folder, the works. Turns out, they had only 2 envelopes left and one of them had the car as a prize in it. The chances of winning were 50/50 but it was a CAR, not a frying pan, know what I mean?

They said to be eligible for the contest, one had to spend a minumum of RM1, 200 or something like that to enter it. They had a folder of tonnes of household and electrical items to choose from. I had just moved to Malaysia (this was ages ago) and I didn't even have a microwave oven so I decided to buy one for the house and a simple water filter. After that, I scratched the metal boxes but this time, I won nothing. I later found out they tell everyone the same thing so the last 2 envelopes were probably identical so that no one would ever win. The only saving grace was the microwave oven did come in handy but was probably sold to me at an inflated price since it was a brand I've never heard of. 

What made me think of this, is just today, I got a call from what I thought was Air Asia saying I had won a holiday for 4 pax and to please come and collect it. The only catch being that they wanted to have 20 mins of your time showing you how to use the website for bookings and to educate consumers on what panel of hotels they are associated with in different countries. Seemed fair enough for a free holiday but I thought it might be a scam so I decided not to go. Last moment, I had an hour to spare so I went down there with my business partner who was convinced it was all bullsh*t. We decided to go anyway. Curiosity killed the cat, sort of thing. We figured it might be a time share scam. 

Gosh, it was nothing we expected. It was a company that's selling skincare and supplements huh? So then we thought it must be multi level but it wasn't. Not really. It was a company building their own pharmacy chain (so they claim) but they hadn't built the first outlet yet. They wanted people to invest in it so that everyone would have a share of all items sold to their members. It was laced with a million loopholes but they were trying to build their member base, get you to recruit others for them etc etc. They were selling hope to people who may have been swayed by the attractive renumeration of what you would get back but that's all air talk. Eg, if someone bought RM150 worth of make up in their store (they didn't even specify a make up brand can u believe it?) the investor would get back RM50 and they estimate at least 100 people through the door per day BUT they may as well be selling air because the thing wasn't even built (though they spoke of a nation wide chain to come). 

Plus, it wasn't even Air Asia (there were no flights) but the prize was a 2 night stay in either Bali or Thailand from aaasia (so on the phone it sounded like the airline). My business partner told these people that what they were doing wasn't right because they were soliciting calls to get people to come and see them pretending to be something else on a totally different premise. He said point blank to the lady trying to sell her scheme to us, who in their right mind would go for such a sham? We were already going to leave but they produced the free holiday voucher as promised for a 2 night stay in Thailand at a hotel but we decided not to take it because I didn't want to write any of my details down. I didn't want to feed their rotten database. If everything had a catch, who's to say the holiday wouldn't have one as well.

I was not upset though. We expected the worst so we weren't disappointed. We went with our eyes wide open so we were prepared. My first story though caught me by surprise because of the faces of those smiling girls in the doorway who looked like they were on a school assignment. They deceived me when I thought they were just innocent students. It was a tactic and it worked because my guard came down because they lied so smoothly about their contest. With all things though, I try to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. I got a microwave oven out of it and experience I cannot buy. Sometimes, it takes a scam to know a scam so if you're burnt once, just move on but don't get burnt again la! ;)       

Any regrets?

I think regrets are one of the WORST feelings to be weighed down by. The very word implies a past event that has already happened but you are STILL thinking about it yet unable to change a thing about it coz we can never change the past. Since there's NOTHING you can do about it, what's the point of harboring regrets? We can only decide whether we wanna repeat our actions. 

So if you're regretting something you said or did, it's best not to dwell on it. Living in the past can be a dark place to hang out if you're filled with regret. It's more important to learn the lesson so to speak and just move on. If you've made a mistake, don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes! Even what seemed like a HUGE problem in the past from bad grades or being caught by your parents for being super naughty, seems to be things we might even laugh at today.

Time has a funny way of healing wounds and it moves so swiftly. Every second ticking by signifies the passage of time and what amazes and almost scares me is how it will never be the exact same time again when you glance at your watch. Moment to moment, the present keeps changing. It's easier said than done following my own blog mantra "live the moment" but when you think about it, that's all we have right here, right now. It's always THIS moment! so don't look back or too far forward. The moment is right under your nose! :)

Do you drink too much?

I have a freind who's drinking was out of control and he kept saying he was going to cut down but once he was out with the guys, it was game over. He couldn't stop at a safe amount. It was as though the first drink triggered the craving for more, and then more. It was hurting his health, his relationships, his bank account and his ability to focus. He really didn't feel good about himself. Especially the next day. All those calls to ask if he embarassed himself and how he managed to get home? His friends were getting tired of making excuses for him when he was over the limit. His girlfriend felt more like a mother to him and she was at the end of her rope in the relationship. When he was sober, he knew with crystal clarity what he had to do but it seemed too difficult to face his fears head on. Drinking was the easy way out. It was an escape from the shit he didn't wanna deal with dating back to his childhood resentment of his father but how long and how far can you run from dealing with the skeletons in your closet?

As usual, you can never change anyone, only yourself. For eg, you can never quit smoking for anyone. It's the same with drinking. An alcoholic must WANT to make the change for themselves. The people around the alcoholic seem to suffer the most watching them throw their lives away. Actually, there was a really good movie about this starring Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. She played the alcoholic. I watched this ages ago. It was an unusual role for Meg Ryan to take on (not her usual American sweetheart stereotype) She was quite an emotional mess in this movie and you feel for her character, especially the husband and kids. Actually, if you have an addictive personality, Leaving Las Vegas is another good one to catch with Nicholas Cage about a suicidal alcoholic. Bear in mind, a movie can trigger off awareness but with no guarantees that someone REALLY wants to change. It takes courage to quit any addiction.