Have you ever had deja-vu?

Several years ago, I used to remember doing sit ups in my bedroom while watching MTV music videos. At the time, there was a VJ called Sonia Couling on the channel. I used to see her everywhere in Singapore, on magazine covers, bus stops, TV commercials, the works.

One night, I had a dream about her. I remember waking up feeling confused because she was definitely someone close to me in the dream. She was telling me about her boyfriend, hanging out with me at different locations. It felt so real! But she was a total stranger in real life.

I told one of my guy friends "hey, it's strange you know. I dreamt of that MTV VJ girl Sonia...I felt like I KNEW her" and he cut me off "Nothing strange about that. Lots of guys have dreamt about her. She's hot what" he reasoned.
"Give me a break. I'm not a guy. I wasn't dreaming about her like that (eyes rolling). We were hanging out, you know...like friends. It felt da*n real"

"Look whatever it is, you better introduce me if your dream comes true okay?" ;)

As it turns out, I got confirmed for a fashion show for a Japanese brand (this was unusual for me coz I'm really too short to catwalk ;) and Sonia Couling was also doing this show so I met her backstage when we were getting our make up done. We didn't have much time to chat so I figured the dream had no substance to it.

VJ Utt and Sonia hosting the 12th Asian Film Awards

After that job, I ran into her here and there but we didn't have each other's numbers. It was not like the dream where we were almost inseparable.

A few years passed and I ended up forgetting the dream altogether but when I was modelling in Bangkok, Sonia and I REALLY connected. We just clicked and we saw each other almost every day. I didn't know many people in Thailand and she made me feel right at home.

Sonia and me training together at the gym

She was also getting fit for an action movie and her trainer taught me a couple of moves. It was just a short sequence but crazy tiring. I have a new found appreciation for fight scenes in movies lol ;)

One night, we were having dinner together in an outdoor restaurant and I was taking in the stones on the ground, the mood lit tables and my hair kinda stood up. It was like deja vu. I had been there before yet I hadn't. The scene felt sooo familiar.

Then, I remembered the dream (the one I had BEFORE I even met her). It was exactly like this. So bizarre. In my dream, we were friends hanging out everywhere and this was one of the scenes in my dream!

I hardly have dreams that actually happen but this was one of them. The total stranger I dreamt of who became my friend in real life! :)

Metinee, Sonia and I attending F1 Malaysia

I find dreams fascinating. Sometimes, they can inspire creativity which is why you should write them down when you wake up. Sometimes, they're fantasy or literal but the scary ones make you appreciate that "it was just a dream" phew ;) People who dream they're being chased or happen to be falling from the sky often wake up feeling sooo thankful they're alive. Even if they have no meaning for you, they can be quite entertaining :)

And in real life, never stop a person from thinking big or dreaming. It's important to have dreams. Most of the people who really make it big believed in their own dreams and never let others tell them otherwise.


Do you know Michael Jordan was told that he would never make the school basketball team and he proved through sheer hard work that he could make it. In fact, his coach was the very impetus to make him work so hard (even doing chin ups to grow taller!) He proved his first coach wrong by being one of the greatest basketball players there ever were.

Not that I'm a fan of Mariah but she was told by her teacher to not waste her time dreaming about becoming a singer coz there was no money in it ;)

Make sure you have dreams in life because if you can visualize something (like how Tiger pictures the perfect shot), you can start making it happen. It's important to visualize whatever goals you have.

so dream on :) just never stop dreaming....

Learning how to kick butt

If you could have a super power, what would it be? I've always figured it would be cool to know some kung fu. However, I never got round to learning it. Someone once showed me how to do sticky rice (I think that's what it was called) where you circle someone with your wrist waiting for them to react so that you can use their energy against them. The more you push and resist, the more ammunition you're giving your opponent. Well,
I was so tense though when I tried this that the guy started laughing at me saying "you are pushing me" and I remember saying "no, I'm not!" but I didn't realise I was actually pushing against his wrist which meant I was wasting my own energy, sigh. Well, that was my first try ever...crouching Jojo, hidden dragon...not quite lol ;)

However, when it came time to shoot Hannah for Health Buzz, I thought it would be fun to do a few kicks. I'm so rusty though and the stretching was quite painful...but as always, it's a good kind of pain coz it releases a lot of tension in your muscles. When we sit badly or hunch over our computers, our shoulders get all knotted up. I didn't realise how much I was aching BEFORE this class, don't talk about afterwards *smile*

Hannah and I used to live together and it surprised me when she said she wanted to take up kickboxing of all things. I couldn't quite picture it at first (her on a catwalk, yes but violently punching something, uh no) but she was so dedicated as a student that now I just accept it as a part of her. It is empowering being able to defend yourself, especially if you're a woman. She really got into it, even representing Malaysia at the last World Kickboxing Championships.

Hannah sparring with her instructor Bathi at Extreme Martial Arts in Plaza Damas. Don't mess! ;)

When I was in boarding school *groan*

As a student, I always left everything to the last minute. I used to stay up most of the night cramming for exams. That’s fine when you’re living at home but when I was sent to a strict boarding school in Australia at 15 (I mean ultra strict), I had to adjust to their rules. Dinner was at 530pm. Study time ALONE in your room was from 6 to 9pm etc. Well, at 2am one night, I got caught for breaking the rules. All I was doing was studying late at night but lights out meant lights out at 10pm sharp *sigh* so I was put on detention and had to be Cinderella for the day vacuuming the whole boarding house.

This led to the bright idea (so I thought) of putting my jeans under the door to block out the light but my housemother caught me again! I had to think of something else. I bought a torch and was studying under the covers (as if I was on a secret mission) anticipating when she might walk in on me. Can you imagine how I felt when I left? *wink*

After 2 years of boarding school, I felt like a prisoner escapee drunk on this delicious cocktail I’d like to call “freedom”. I got my first car *yaaaay!!* and lived on campus at Curtin University in Perth for the first year of uni. I came and went as I pleased, partied if I felt like it and studied without being hassled by my boarding school Hogwarts like head mistress *thank goodness!*

If this was my first taste of adulthood, I was loving it already!! :) I worked hard and played hard trying to strike a balance between the social butterfly that I was and full-on study bug (got Asian genes what lol ;).

When I finished my business degree in Australia, I wanted to take another one. I returned to Singapore, did post-grad studies in Marketing and started off my second degree in psychology (I didn't finish it tho because I feel you should be totally dedicated and on campus for it. It's a SERIOUS amount of reading and paperwork but who knows? One day, I might return to it.

I need to say it. I know it's a cliche but true...as the saying goes "never say never" and "knowledge is power" so we never really stop. We go on learning forever. The exams may end when you're no longer a student but the "tests" in life don't :)

Hey, since we're on the topic, why do you reckon we're here? I know it's a BIG, age old question and everyone has a different answer but I'd love to hear what you think. Let me know kay?

Ever got into a catfight?

Years ago, I went to an audition for Kopitiam, the sitcom. I thought it was to guest as someone's girlfriend. Turns out, they were looking for a bitchy lawyer to replace Lina Teoh's character on the main cast. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. I had only done a movie in Singapore where I was pretty 'sweet' but i gave it my best shot.

Well, I didn't expect it but I got the part! In this particular scene, I get into a catfight with the shampoo girl ;) almost ripped her hairband off haha

click here to view it. (Just remember I was acting ok? *wink*)

WRITING IS ART

When I was doing my business degree in Australia, the artistic side of me was starved so I was always running over to the communications block to take electives in psychology, film, theatre and creative writing. I remember my American poetry teacher. She was quite scary. She would give us some of the most difficult poems in the world to decode. They were post modernist (if you're not sure what style of writing that is, don't worry. That's you and me both) but we had to learn how to write in this way.

A girl in my class started one of her poems with "my soul is crying" and she canceled the line out completely! She said it was way too obvious and rarely do post modernist poems have "ing" at the end of any words. Deep down, I think we hated her coz she only accepted a specific style of poetry but none of us had written like this before. The poems she endorsed sometimes had two words in a line. Yup, just two. Look it would've been fine with me if they called the course, "Post Modernism 101" but they called it "Creative Writing 101" so I didn't know what I was in for. If you were in an art class and someone sketched the ocean with acrylic and the other in charcoal, how could either be wrong? It's all just art and individual expression isn't it?


But here's the thing. I started becoming grateful that I took this class (I saw it as a challenge) coz it was forcing me to express myself in a totally different way. It exposed me to different methods. I was looking at things from short, abrupt angles I'd never explored. My writing had never been so clipped and concise so I was developing more range. I figured doing the long flowing stuff was already second nature to me so why not try and do things this way? In my free time, I could write whatever I want anyway.

It took me a while to get the hang of "post modernism" but here's an excerp from something she gave me an "A" in toward the end of my Semester. It was about alcoholism and my concerns for a close friend I felt was going down the drain...

CHEERS

throw yourself to the dogs
bar counters they all are

sapping paper
Daddy has lots

Lose yourself
Waste it all

bloody zombies
no heads anymore

the nights have no meaning
your banks, no memory

you go down alone
fight the devil

you know where to find him
bedside mirror

My teacher's favourite line was the last because she knew I was trying to use the analogy of the devil linked with temptation and of course the hardest person to fight when we are tempted about something is always our own selves ;)

OMG! No Way!

I absolutely can't believe it!! I've been blogging for more than 2 hours and when I was done and all the various photos properly downloaded and where I wanted them, I pressed "publish post" AS PER NORMAL but this time, I dunno why my friggin cursor started going round in circles and I've lost it! I've tried recovering what I've written but it's completely gone...aaargh!



Don't you hate it when this happens? I'm SURE it's happened to you. I'm so upset and this is way past my bedtime sigh so gonna hit the sack.

Can't help it. I'm going to bed pis*ed off. Computers, I tell you. Can't live with them, can't live without them!

nite nite.....groan

At the spa...

A friend of mine got me a free trial for the Body Lifting treatment at Clarins. I wasn't sure whether I should be grateful or insulted. Gee, thanks but "you think I need a bit of a lift isssit?" lol "No la just TRY it ok? I know you're not fat but it's a different kind of massage. Really relaxing" Oh? did she say "massage?" ok, ok! It didn't take much else to convince me to go for this coz I love massages :)



While I was drinking my tea, I was wondering how this girl had to audition for this job.



It reminded me of a Levis casting I went to in Singapore. Sooo embarrassing! You would THINK being a brand like Levis that it would be for jeans right? Well, no. Not this time. As it turns out, they were doing a campaign for their T shirts and they wanted the Calvin Klein underwear "look" for the actual ad so I was given a T shirt to wear for my casting.



I entered the boardroom and a few men in suits were there, 2 women and the fashion photographer. It looked very formal. I handed over my book. They flipped through my portfolio, then said "Please remove your jeans. We need to take casting shots" Of course, it made perfect sense. They couldn't possibly hire a model for the actual job with a stomach not flat enough or legs that weren't the right shape BUT I have this thing about my bu*t being photographed. I was dreadfully uncomfortable but I stepped out of my jeans as though it was the most natural thing in the world to do in a boardroom full of people ;) Hey, I must've pulled it off (posing like I wasn't bothered) coz I got the job :-)



So there I was at Clarins wondering how this girl had to do it ;) I've been to some hilarious auditions. Once, Denise Keller was just before me in the line at an audition where they were looking for the right hip and thighs for a bus ad. You don't even see the girl's face but every single model who auditioned for it had to literally bend over so that the casting agents could get the right angle of your bu*t!



I didn't get that one but I did do a fashion spread in Taiwan for GQ magazine (above) and they gave me these denim shorts with no top but my hair was that long so at least it felt like I was wearing something! For me, it's important that the shot is about fashion and art (I can get my head round that) and it must be done tastefully. I have zero interest in being a playboy bunny, know what I mean?



Back to my spa session. Well, I didn't know what to expect coz I've never had a body lifting treatment before. She started out by placing her hands on different parts of my leg. She used sometimes intense or rhythmic movements. At one point, I thought she was drawing lines or patterns on my thigh haha but she was actually checking on hydration levels.

It was like a massage, yet not totally because this lifting product (which felt like a gel) is meant to isolate the fatty tissue while boosting your lymphatic circulation. Her movements were sometimes fast, sometimes slow but there was a 'method to the madness' lol and they really do make sure this solution gets massaged in from head to foot! I started to doze off because whatever she was doing was putting me to sleep. Lovely....zzz

(this isn't me la, I was 2 busy enjoying my massage hehe but u get the picture right?)

I finished off with a facial and interestingly, Clarins don't use any machines or beauty tools at all. Everything is ala naturale. This meant no extractions either. Everything they do, they do it with their hands and their products use a lot of botanical extracts. Suited me just fine...I wasn't looking forward to the extraction bit so when she told me she won't be doing any, I happily fell asleep again. The facial massage was fantastic. The tension in my neck started to melt away. I didn't want it to end... ;)



Of course you can wear make up after a facial but it's good to give your skin a break. I wasn't filming anything that day so I enjoyed not having to bother. I felt really refreshed. It was such a nice way to start the day :-)

Dancing in Dynas's Shop ;)