Friday, March 5, 2010

Do you drink too much?

I have a freind who's drinking was out of control and he kept saying he was going to cut down but once he was out with the guys, it was game over. He couldn't stop at a safe amount. It was as though the first drink triggered the craving for more, and then more. It was hurting his health, his relationships, his bank account and his ability to focus. He really didn't feel good about himself. Especially the next day. All those calls to ask if he embarassed himself and how he managed to get home? His friends were getting tired of making excuses for him when he was over the limit. His girlfriend felt more like a mother to him and she was at the end of her rope in the relationship. When he was sober, he knew with crystal clarity what he had to do but it seemed too difficult to face his fears head on. Drinking was the easy way out. It was an escape from the shit he didn't wanna deal with dating back to his childhood resentment of his father but how long and how far can you run from dealing with the skeletons in your closet?

As usual, you can never change anyone, only yourself. For eg, you can never quit smoking for anyone. It's the same with drinking. An alcoholic must WANT to make the change for themselves. The people around the alcoholic seem to suffer the most watching them throw their lives away. Actually, there was a really good movie about this starring Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. She played the alcoholic. I watched this ages ago. It was an unusual role for Meg Ryan to take on (not her usual American sweetheart stereotype) She was quite an emotional mess in this movie and you feel for her character, especially the husband and kids. Actually, if you have an addictive personality, Leaving Las Vegas is another good one to catch with Nicholas Cage about a suicidal alcoholic. Bear in mind, a movie can trigger off awareness but with no guarantees that someone REALLY wants to change. It takes courage to quit any addiction.


Sara said...

Aww, its sucks to see a friend in that kind of position. :(

Sholee said...

I have a few friends in a similar predicament but they will not admit it... sigh!

Family of Four said...

It usually starts with social drinking. When you have a problem and have no one or nowhere to turn to, you normally drink yourself out of the problem momentarily.

How sad it is when you become dependent on alcohol and if you do not dry out, you will be in a real mess like our Nicholas Cage character in 'Leaving Las Vegas'.

ang said...

Mind is the forerunner. Until one can understand this, life is as usual. Understanding is the first step, one needs to train the mind. Needs EFFORT!

Jojo Struys said...

hi Sholee, been there myself. Denial is a massive part of any addiction.

yup, family of 4!

Ur right Ang. Understanding is one thing but to trqin the mind takes disciplin. People must want to change.

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ahmad said...

with great support from friends.....i think the prob can be overcome..

zewt said...

your friend needs rehab!

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That's Ron said...

Yea.. denial is sure a big part of addicition....

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