Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A figure in the moonlight

There's something mysterious about moonlight. It's almost creepy. I guess that's why we see it in so many horror flicks. You know how there would be wolves howling under the moon or vampires crawling out from their graves at dusk, shudder ;) Well, when I was doing my creative writing assignment at uni in Australia, I decided to write a poem against a moonlit backdrop.

I saw in my mind's eye a really lonely woman staring out the windowsill. She looked almost transparent and her hair was blowing in the wind so I decided to make her a spirit. When I started writing, the words were just flowing unplugged, which usually happens when we are inspired about something.

I knocked on my flat mate's door when I was finished with it, all excited to read it out to him. This would be Craig, my ultra sarcastic cousin who was always mean to me (but I knew he loved me la *wink*. Just too macho to admit it! *eyes rolling upward* ;) So anyway, I read my poem out which was handwritten on different pieces of paper...

"So, what do you think of it?" I asked him.

"My goodness, Jo. Don't you ever write anything happy? I was in a perfectly good mood till you read me your poem" Ah ha! *chuckle* Well, at least I got a reaction! I KNEW he liked it despite him grumbling about how 'dark' it was. And he's right, it's sad but this depends on how you look at it. What I was trying to get across is that we shouldn't take things for granted. Don't wait for "death" to appreciate "life" Live every day like it's your last, as the saying goes...well, here's the poem.

"For Just One Day"
I stand by the windowsill
like the whisper of a shadow
The finger of a breeze
is a tease on my skin

The night is my only companion
my only joy
I feel strangely alive
although I know I am mistaken

I am but a dream by the window,
a naked figure in the moonlight
my hair is my only cloak,
wrapped around me tight

the ghost of a smile plays on my lips
and from their redness drips,
a bittersweet moan,
a soundless sigh,
painfully alone

Salty tears that can't be tasted
and deep regrets I know are wasted
but the well of images are present in me
so I will drink them for a memory

Take me back, take me back into time
when I was a child, my senses wild
or to when I when I was a woman
filled with hope and longing

I dream a dream that's not be

For just one day,
let me feel the heat of the sun
or the wetness of rain
Let me dance in the flame of fires
or drown in my own desires

Just let me feel again,
I don't mind bleeding
Just let me hurt again,
I don't mind crying

Just let me breathe
so I can live again

I dream a dream that's not to be

I will not wake
for I never sleep
I'm just a walking shadow
with memories to keep

I turn to gaze at the picture of my love
resting on rose coloured sheets
and that ghostly smile returns to my lips

The picture is almost perfect
I am even present in the room as he sleeps
but I'm no longer a part of it

I stare out the windowsill
and he stares right at me
so I moved much closer
making sure he would see

But then,
he fell asleep again
and the knowledge that I had
painful in my chest
tore at me that morning
He could never see me

I gazed out sadly at the start of a new day
the sun had reared its burning head on the pink horizon

It was time for me to leave
and I would go the way I had come
through the open window sill
the place he always used to find me by

the curtains rustled aside at my departure
I was the parting breeze that had caressed his cheeks
He turned his face in sleep
and I was gone


Igniz said...

I read the poem first, and your above description later. coz i was afraid that you might have told the meaning before I was able to start reading it.;P

At first, I thought the poem was about a dead soul, who had so many unfinished 'jobs' on Earth, and how she wished that she could live again and finish them.

On a second thought, I thought it was about a woman who had died and 'came' to Earth just to see her beloved one.

But when I read your description, I think the first one sounds a bit closer to your intended meaning.:P

Nice one, seriously, Jojo. I'm so jealous.:)

flora aka floriferous said...

Hey Jojo..not sure if u'd still rmbr me..its me Flora..we met at d Standout Party last week..

a well written poem indeed..its amazing how words can come to u at d oddess hours eh..=P

i definitely agree wit u..we jus have to take one day at a time n live every moment to d fullest..

freddy boy said...

Poems are interesting because u see what u want to see within the poem related to yourself.. it was pretty deep filled with emotions... great work!

Anonymous said...

that was beautiful...

Tekkaus said...

The lady looked transparent? Hmm...and your masterpiece is dark? The poem is a little...creepy and sad at the same time. Anyway it's a good write. :D

TheAccidentalDweeb said...

A very well-written poem. i quite enjoyed reading it i must admit.

I discovered your blog just this morning while blog-hopping and it was, and still is, a blast from the past. The last time i saw you on the tele was in episode of Kopitiam. Reading your past entries, pictures of Mano Maniam, Douglas Lim and Chelsia Ng brought back so many fond childhood memories for me. And i have you to thank for that. It feels like ages since i last thought of my childhood days in Malaysia and those pictures really helped.

It is good to know that life has been treating you well thus far. I hope and pray that life and love will continue to smile on you and keep you safe always.

Now i think i'll go listen to "Empty Decorations" by Indecisive... BTW, do you know if Douglas and Chelsia are still singing?

Take care and all the best!

Chelsia Ng said...

Hi Jo!

Just added a link to your blog on mine. I like what you've done with this space. Nice!

Accidental Dweeb: Yes... We still do occasionally :)
Log on to my MySpace to listen to some of my songs.

Thanks for all the kind words!

mark said...

it's really sad.. reminds me of Afdlin Shauki's expression when Vanidah Imran told him she was getting married at Chelsia's wedding in Sepi...

ang said...

I am incline to think you are a very sentimental person.

One should strive to live for the moment to the fullest just like there is no tomorrow. I would like to add 'wholesome' to it. It would be more meaningful.

From the moment we took stage at birth, we were being conditioned even until today and shall continue to be so until ... We are trained to be judgemental, just as my first sentence. Certain words or phrases may invoke certain perception and the perception differs from one individual to another. Why the term 'death' has link to creepiness or dark? Death is a natural process. We have no control over it. Why not try to understand it as everyone has to face it one day. It transcends all creed and races. Are we prepared for death? Think about it.

Don't get me wrong. We do not want to be a pessimist. Just that when one comprehend it, we shall be less fearful of it.

Xan said...

Jo i really really loved reading it, even melancholy it's beautiful and lovely, do u have more????

Jojo Struys said...

hi Igniz, actually, anything works coz it's up to the reader's interpretation but what I had in mind is more your "second thought". I imagined she returned to sit in her old bedroom of her husband or lover. But was it just for one night or did she see sit by the windowsill every night, is completely up to you :)

Jojo Struys said...

thx for dropping by Chelsia and I'm glad Dweeb, I brought you back fond memories from Kopitiam n it was so much fun shooting it lol

Flora, what a unique name u have

Freddy, interesting point. I know what u mean. Having said that, I wouldn't want to be that girl. It's so sad that she's trapped and not at peace...

As always, a deep explanation from Ang

thx guys!

Jojo Struys said...

Xan, I have more poems, yes. I write when I feel like it. It's a mood thing. I could try dig some others up for sure :)

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